Month: June 2025

leadership dot #1188a: give us a minute

June 30, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the practices in my personal life is to Never Tell a Waitress, “Give us a Minute.”

What happens when you aren’t ready to order? Send her away? Inevitably, she gets out of her routine and forgets to come back to you until an extended period has passed. She has a method for handling her new customers and servicing those already seated, and “give us a minute” throws off that rhythm. Not that it should be that way; it’s just my experience that it is. So, instead of being aggravated by the delay, I align my expectations with reality and either order quickly or plan to wait.

Do you have some personal habits that you have developed as a way to mitigate the aggravation and stress in your life? Are there things that “always drive you crazy” but you continue to put yourself in that situation without making adjustments? If getting behind school buses is a trigger for you, perhaps you should leave earlier/later. If you never can figure out what to wear, maybe you could plan out outfits for the week or have a fashion-forward friend provide you with a month’s worth of choices. If the barrage of emails from political candidates or certain stores irritates you, take a minute to unsubscribe.

You can fret or you can develop your own workarounds that become part of your routine. Life has enough unexpected bumps without going over the same ones repeatedly.

Originally published in modified form September 2, 2015

leadership dot #1172a: A to Z

June 29, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I did a training for a group of student leaders where I used the Alphabet Exercise. I gave pairs a sheet of paper with each letter of the alphabet followed by a blank line printed on it.

Their assignment was to leave the room and find, in order, the letter “A”, then the letter “B”, and so on in any place they could. There was a token prize for the most creative location a letter was found, but the main point of the exercise was to have them become more conscious about what was around them. All the letters had to be visible without manipulating anything, so, in theory, they had walked by all these things but just hadn’t noticed.

The hardest part of the exercise was determining a winner. They had letters from an artist’s signature on a painting; the letter in the middle of the football field of a competitor — and a selfie to prove they really had gone there in the allotted 20 minutes; words from serial number plaques on machinery; someone crawled under a car to see the Y in Goodyear on the backside of a tire; buttons on a washing machine; and even a garden hose laid out in the shape of a J.

We later used the exercise to make a point that things are happening all around us — including what Dan and Chip Heath call “bright spots” in their book Switch, and that it behooves us to notice more closely than we usually do.

Think about playing the “alphabet exercise” the next time you are walking about. My experience is that first you’ll notice the obvious ones: on a street sign or license plate, but eventually you’ll see not only the make of the car, but then the dealer sticker; not just the name on the mailbox, but the brand and US Post Office notifications; flags and home decor, etc.

Raising consciousness is as easy as A, B, C, but the lessons from the mental gymnastics can serve you well past Z.

Originally published in modified form August 17, 2015

leadership dot #2429a: crazy socks

June 28, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A colleague posted on Facebook: “Meeting with an important donor. They wear crazy socks, so I wear crazy socks…and then we compare crazy socks. This was not in my major gift training course.”

But maybe it should have been taught.

Everyone appreciates being recognized and known. The crazy socks illustrate that the gift officer acknowledges them as an individual, not just another “cookie-cutter” donor. While it costs nothing to do, I’ll bet that it pays major dividends in the relationship.

Pay attention to the small cues that people give you about what is important to them. What kind of candy is always on their desk? Do they suggest a certain restaurant or prefer a special dessert? Do they have a dog near and dear to their heart or a child who is their focus? What hobby can be that conversation hook for you?

You should know a personal nugget about every single person with whom you are trying to establish a relationship, whether that be a colleague, client, or classmate. Use those tidbits to create connections that will last far longer than your crazy socks will.

Thanks, Meg!

Originally published in modified form on February 8, 2019

leadership dot #3422a: dinosaur

June 27, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I have a friend who has been interviewing for the same job for two months. He went to multiple in-person interviews, plus had to do a presentation, but still has not finished the process. The company is a 9-5, in-person only, formal dress kind of place — and that, combined with their antiquated interviewing process, makes me think that they are less than progressive with their culture and way of operating.

And yet, in the latest interview, the vice president commented on how they were a fast-moving company that was able to pivot quickly. The misalignment between how they see themselves and how they act is a red flag. It’s one thing to work at a place that follows traditional practices, but worrisome when the leadership doesn’t realize that their human resources are anything but cutting edge.

It’s easy to get so used to the culture that you can’t see it from an external perspective. Counteract this by capitalizing on your new hires or using external groups to get a reality check on how you are perceived by those who aren’t ingrained in the organization. It’s ok to be a dinosaur, but not ok to be one and think you’re a cheetah.

Originally published in modified form on October 28, 2021

leadership dot #3044a: ask questions

June 26, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Too often, evaluation questions are set up to provide data but not actionable information that can result in real change. We ask people to rate the quality of a session on a Likert 1-5 scale, but in the end, it doesn’t tell us much. The restaurant manager asks: “How was your meal?” but likely only hears “fine” or some other generic answer. We ask staff “how’s it going?” while in passing and convince ourselves that we’re asking them for real feedback.

If you want to obtain usable information to help you understand your employees or volunteers, here is a sampling of questions that you may adapt toward that end:

What do I do that is most helpful to you?
What should I stop doing?
What’s the hardest part of your role?
What’s the best part of your role?
What’s the one thing that you wish we did differently?
What’s one thing I could do to make things better/easier for you?
What’s one piece of advice you would give me?
What’s one piece of advice you would give to a new member of your team?
What’s one piece of advice you would give to someone taking your role?
What’s one thing you wish you did better in your role?
On a spectrum of invaluable to useless, how would you rate _______?
On a spectrum of a micromanager to not available, how would you rate the amount of interaction you have with me?
On a spectrum of perfect to lacking, how would you rate the amount of information you receive from me?
On a spectrum of perfect to lacking, how would you rate the amount of interaction you have with the other staff?
What’s one change you would make to my communication to you?
On a spectrum of thrilled to worried, how do you feel about your team? Why?
Give yourself some feedback. You’d be an awesome employee if only….
Give me some feedback. I’d be an awesome supervisor if only…
What I wish we had available to us that we don’t is…
The one thing I probably do differently for my team than other team leaders is…
The hardest process for me to follow to the letter is…
On a spectrum of well-prepared to faking it, how do you feel about the knowledge you have to fill your role effectively?
What’s one thing you could do to make your team stronger/more effective/more cohesive/more XX?
The one thing you’d like more information about is …

You get the idea. Asking about “one thing” helps narrow the focus and takes the pressure off them to believe they are naming “everything” or to avoid giving an answer at all. When you use “on a spectrum” questions, you help people see that there are extremes at both ends and they can assess where they fall, which is much more helpful than a “yes or no” answer.

Play around with these prompts and see if you can actually learn something from your next opportunity to get feedback. Hopefully, on a spectrum of useful to worthless, you’ll find them on the quite useful end of the scale!

Originally published in modified form October 15, 2020

leadership dot #2a: don’t let the ants ruin your picnic

June 25, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I came home last night to what looked like a brown magazine blowing in my driveway. In reality, it was a colony of ants — a billion of them by conservative estimate — all feverishly working together toward some unknown common purpose. I was creeped out, and I promptly set about extinguishing them all.

I had seen ants around, but did not pay attention to them. I didn’t even act on the ant hill I found when weeding. After all, ants are harmless little things and not worthy of action.

But any little thing can turn into a big thing if there are enough of them. Organizational cultures are taken down not by elephants, but by ants. Leaders do not meet their demise because of one big thing; rather, it is more likely to be a series of small actions that add up to a problem. Enough little things start to accumulate, and it feels like the earth is moving, even if it’s not.

Pay attention to the small comments, the seemingly insignificant decisions, the shift in policy, the unanswered questions, the shutting of doors, and wiggle words that appear in conversations — they are sure signs that the ants are mobilizing to crash your picnic.

Originally published in modified form on June 3, 2012

leadership dot #2370a: willpower

June 24, 2025June 22, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

It is easiest to resist temptation on the front end – using your willpower at the first opportunity that a bad impulse knocks. The longer we flirt with the temptation at hand, the harder it is to refuse it.

If you have a weakness for M&Ms, it is far easier to walk past them on the shelf than it is to stroll by the candy jar without digging in, and it is even harder to say no once a few of the chocolate circles are in your hand. You are more likely to have the willpower to pass up those expensive shoes in the store than you are to be able to resist them once you try them on, and you’re even less likely to return them once you’ve brought them home. And while difficult, it is still far easier to make a healthy dish for the potluck than it is to bring your favorite high-calorie treat and hope you don’t eat any of it or to drive right by the “puppies for sale” sign rather than going in “just to pet them.”

For most people, willpower wanes. Capitalize on your strength at the start and implement a hard resistance to your initial urge.

Originally published in modified form December 11, 2018

leadership dot #4661: little bets

June 23, 2025June 11, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A client shared concerns that her staff was becoming complacent and asked me about ways to motivate them to up their game. She discussed “blowing up” their evaluation system or making radical changes to shake things up. I offered the opposite advice: “Think small.”

I was reminded of the first line in Jim Collins’ book Good to Great: “Good is the enemy of great.” If things aren’t ‘bad’, it’s harder to have the momentum to change; therefore, seeking big changes will be difficult. Instead, I recommended focusing on a culture that values small innovations, experiments, and continuous improvements. Seek a “tweak of the week” from everyone, praise those changes that work, and learn from those that don’t.

Peter Sims’ book Little Bets provides a framework for the strategy I suggested. He recommends making little bets on something new, seeing the results, and then going big if the outcome is positive. Little bets can often yield small wins, giving staff the motivation to continue improving, especially when they are praised in public.

It’s easy to become comfortable with the status quo as it saves time and mental capacity when functioning on autopilot. Better to encourage innovation in small doses to make it a norm instead of an aberration.

leadership dot #4660: self-serve

June 22, 2025June 12, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

When I was a leader in my professional association, it was always a logistical challenge to ensure all the conference participants had the right ribbons on their nametags. There were designations for presenter, regional leadership, board members, past board members, donors, award winners, and more. For those of us who were very active, we kidded that it felt like “win, place, and show” wearing ribbons that stretched double the length of the badge itself.

The Denver Convention Center solved this problem with a self-serve ribbon distribution center. Attendees could choose which ribbons they wished to wear — proclaiming all of their distinctions, none, or just one of particular relevance. It is a brilliant idea. I doubt anyone will falsely bestow a designation, as others at the event would know their falsehood, and if they got away with their fake bravado, does it matter?

Think about the time you spend on logistics that aren’t really that important. Could you forego attending to similar details such as ribbon distribution, seating charts, or packet assembly, and let people work things out for themselves? Put all those skills we’ve learned in self-checkouts to good use!

leadership dot #4659: touches

June 21, 2025June 11, 2025by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Maybe I’m just more aware of the little things when I’m on vacation, but in downtown Denver, I saw many examples of intentional, special touches to make the life of a tourist a bit easier.

Three examples:

When the elevator doors opened in the hotel, there was a giant number of the floor, also color-coded to help visitors instantly recognize their floor
The buses had small containers with slips of paper listing the bus number. If you wanted to lodge a complaint or compliment, or needed to reference a specific bus for any reason, you could grab the number instead of trying to remember it
The hotel breakfast bar provided small bags, making it easy for guests to take fruit or other items to go

None of these enhancements were monumental, but they were all nice gestures of hospitality. Is there a small convenience that you could provide to make it a bit easier for guests or clients? Pay attention to what other venues provide for you and consider replicating the little touches in your organization.