I tied my shoes three times this morning…
…and each time, my puppy untied them.
Why did I think that the next time would be different? I didn’t change my location or my behavior, yet I was annoyed when I got the same result. Admonishing my puppy did nothing either, since to her it was a fun game.
The next time you are frustrated by metaphorical shoe untying, remember that you are the one in control. It’s much easier to change your behavior than to expect someone else to change theirs.
We can dread giving feedback when we think of it as a statement we must deliver. Another approach is to ask questions and see the exchange as an opportunity to learn.
You could start with:
By asking questions, you turn one-way communication into a conversation where you not only address the product, but also help the other person take ownership of the process and build analytical skills and self-awareness.
The next time you need to give feedback, approach it as an exploration rather than a declaration.
While it’s important for the leader to have a long-range vision for the organization, it’s also necessary for them to translate it into short-term next steps for those who must implement it.
Think of it as going on a trip. The leader must know the destination and the planned route to get there, but the front-line driver just wants to know whether to turn right or left at the next intersection. Progress is made, and rewards are gained, by aligning those next 2 miles in service of the larger vision.
If your staff is inexperienced, they are (metaphorically) in the driveway and don’t have the capacity to internalize the entire trip. Help them to help you achieve your end goal by giving them strategic guidance in smaller chunks that they can absorb. Allow them to focus on going in the right direction today, while you concentrate on the endgame of tomorrow.
I am a fan of asking a candidate for a second interview. There are always concerns that arise in round 1, whether in the interview itself, in comments from others, in reference-check red flags, or in how the candidate acted during the process of arranging the interview. In round 2, there (hopefully) has been some rapport established, and you are able to have a more frank conversation.
There is nothing to lose by addressing the noted concerns. Either the candidate will relieve your worries with their answer, or you will proceed with the hiring process with eyes wide open, knowing the liabilities that you have to contend with. The same holds true by providing a forum to address the candidate’s hesitations.
Beyond the content, the candid conversation can help establish trust and vulnerability and set the tone for future interactions. It models how you will act as a supervisor, calmly addressing issues and giving the person a chance to respond, rather than letting things fester. The candidate learns about your style, and you learn how they handle feedback or approach sensitive issues. Both are key indicators of whether the relationship will be successful.
Hiring the wrong person can derail a culture and stymie your agenda. Take the time to do it right and invest in a round 2, even if it’s virtual or more casual. It’s a win no matter what you learn.
I was at a baseball game, and when I finished with my snack, I threw the paper basket on the floor under my seat. There, it joined the wrappers, cups, and uneaten food from everyone in the row.
I would never even think of leaving trash on the ground at a park, concert, or really, anywhere else. I even carry out my refuse at a movie theater, but the norms at a baseball stadium say it is acceptable (even expected) to leave the garbage behind.
It was a reminder of the power of organizational behavior. You can create norms that have people pick up after themselves and leave no trace behind, or ones that let people throw everything on the floor. If you don’t set clear expectations for the behavior you want, people will default to the most convenient, less demanding outcome.
Be explicit about the type of culture you want to create. One piece of (metaphorical) garbage easily leads to more of it, whereas a lack of it also models the expected behavior. Don’t trash your culture by letting undesirable behavior go unchecked.
Leadership is about creating change, and those who seek to make a difference become proficient in three separate steps of the process.
The first step is identifying needs. Change leaders must recognize where gaps and inequities exist, or where opportunities lie. If you’re still relying on others to present you with problems to solve or projects to complete, you’ve abdicated your role in the first phase of the change process. You need to develop discerning eyes that pay attention to the process, feedback, pain points, possibilities, and trends, and identify where change is needed.
But noticing a need is not enough. Those interested in creating change must be able to articulate the issue compellingly. If you are afraid to speak up, are unable to deliver a persuasive message, or speak only in vague terms, the issue will likely remain unchanged. The most effective change leaders craft a specific ask, woven with an emotional story, to make their words memorable and actionable.
Finally, you must galvanize resources to implement the desired change. This could involve people or funds, assembled quickly or over time, but all mobilized to achieve the end result. Without the support and engagement of others, your idea is likely to fizzle.
Understanding that change happens in multiple stages is a helpful framework, especially for new professionals who have yet to learn that leadership and change are inextricably linked. Those who cannot identify, articulate, and galvanize are likely to remain followers, even if they have higher aspirations.
Supervisors can’t always be present for their teams, especially if their staff is located in multiple locations. In the absence of on-site leadership, performance can falter, and others may see it as their responsibility to report others’ transgressions to the boss. If you’re the supervisor, it puts you in a tough position to address behavior you didn’t witness.
It’s better to be proactive about the circumstances and hold a team meeting to develop — and agree upon — group norms. As the leader, you can also set the expectations for performance.
But the most important step is also determining what will happen when someone violates those norms, even in a small way. (e.g., if timeliness is important, what will happen if someone arrives late?) The group needs not only permission but also a clear expectation that everyone will help enforce the agreed-upon standards. The supervisor should only be involved when something escalates or when a correction is persistently ignored.
If you’re the boss and someone complains to you about the minor behavior of another, do not address it unless you want to be in the middle forever. Fictional Ted Lasso knew this when he let senior player Roy Kent address star Jamie Tartt’s bullying of the kit man. Roy came to Ted to complain, but Ted put it back on Roy to handle, thus modeling how minor conflicts should be addressed.
You can’t be everywhere all the time. When you are present, use your energy to create norms and expectations that will be carried out without you.
I’ve recently been asked questions that revolve around how to handle being a new supervisor when it seems awkward: you suddenly are the boss of someone who was your colleague, or you’re supervising someone who applied for the position you are now in.
My advice is to act as if it is not awkward. How you carry yourself sets the tone for the culture and future interactions. Act like the boss, including your body language, how you dress, the hours you keep, and the tasks you perform. Be clear about expectations for the group—it’s a new day, and it’s time to reset. You can orchestrate this by listening and then outlining the new rules of engagement.
I also recommend giving an unapologetic “no” the first time it is warranted. People need to understand that just because they were your former peer, things are different, and the relationship has changed. Your main obligation now is to your new peers and the larger organization, rather than to your former colleagues, and this will inevitably entail some unpopular decisions. Helping set the context for this early will aid when the difficult time comes.
You were appointed to the position over the others because of some characteristics or skills leaders saw in you. Put those to work and be the leader you were chosen to be.
I’m a big fan of involving the supervisor in an aspect of the coaching relationship with one of their employees. While coaching needs to maintain sufficient separation for the “coachee” to be comfortable sharing difficult situations and challenges with the coach, it helps immensely when the supervisor can be looped in at occasional intervals.
Not only does this provide for updates, but it also allows a third party to interject with specific examples of behavior. There are things that the supervisor sees that the coachee may not even recognize they are doing, and, of course, the coach would have no way to know otherwise. With intermittent sessions with the supervisor, future coaching appointments can be adjusted in response to reality.
If an organization is investing in coaching for one of its employees, it’s in everyone’s best interest to have strong outcomes from the experience. Engage the supervisor to have the best chance of that happening.
I was prescribed a round of Prednisolone, a drug that is taken in decreasing doses each day. The instructions read that dosing is variable, and my doctor recommended that I take all six pills at once on the first day, then five the next, etc.
In its own quirky way, it reminded me of an onboarding schedule. You need to front-load your time and information, gradually pulling back on the amount of intervention needed. Hopefully, by the end of the orientation period (which, unlike these pills, should last longer than six days!), the new employee will be equipped to work independently, with only intermittent assistance from you.
Not everything should be distributed in equal doses. Take care in determining which dosage schedule aligns with the need.
