I tied my shoes three times this morning…
…and each time, my puppy untied them.
Why did I think that the next time would be different? I didn’t change my location or my behavior, yet I was annoyed when I got the same result. Admonishing my puppy did nothing either, since to her it was a fun game.
The next time you are frustrated by metaphorical shoe untying, remember that you are the one in control. It’s much easier to change your behavior than to expect someone else to change theirs.
Think of the many ways there are to express your personality — through fashion and accessories, smartphone screen savers, avatars, tattoos, water bottle decals, phone cases, license plates, and bumper stickers, just to name a few. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our choices communicate messages about ourselves to the world.
Boat names also reflect their owners. I knew the guy I was following loved fishing had a sense of humor when he named his craft “Tellin Lies!” It made me smile.
I hope you can express your personality and enjoy your favorite recreational activity this Labor Day Weekend.
Going to the dentist can be scary, especially for a child. If they have a bad experience there, it could cause anxiety at visits for years to come.
Our community health center has taken extra steps to ensure that the pediatric dentistry wing is as child-friendly and welcoming as possible. Fun stuffed animals line the hallways. The chairs are bright lime. The walls have murals. Toys are available to comfort children while the dentist works. Television monitors on the ceiling keep the patient distracted with cartoons. The entire environment creates an experience that says “fun” rather than “scary.”
Your environment plays a critical role in setting the tone for the kind of interaction you seek. Whether in your office or home, pay attention to what your walls, furniture, colors, and arrangements say about you, and make sure the setting aligns with your intended meaning.
Being the office supply junkie that I am, I purchased a pair of ridiculously priced scissors. (But they are so cute!) With the package came the following note:
“Every day, we work hard to design and create enduring, unlikely objects that inspire wonder, spark joy, and hopefully even brighten your day. We hope that the items accompanying this letter do just that. Thank you for giving our creations a chance to become a lasting part of your life.”
This message was printed on a business card-sized piece of paper—nothing fancy—but it carried a sentiment that conveys pride I don’t often feel from other purchases. It made me glad that I invested in their product, and yes, the scissors do make me smile.
Think about how you can include a note that creates a connection with your buyer. There is the product or service—and then there is the story that goes with it. Make an impact by sharing that tale, too.
Whether from fear, overthinking, or uncertainty, people sometimes let thoughts rattle around in their minds without expressing them. These nuggets can turn into full-fledged stories that drive our behaviors, inhibit actions, and cause a lot of angst.
The solution to carrying that weight in our minds is to follow a simple mantra: Out of head to out of mouth. If we give voice to worries, doubts, questions, or unknowns, we may find hope of resolving the issues. Clarifying situations with others can relieve us of second-guessing their intent. Expressing our concerns can provide additional information that alleviates our fears or at least lets us know where we stand. Being vulnerable enough to share our worry may yield the necessary support.
People are not mind readers. While you may hesitate, speaking what is heavy on your mind is the best (only?) chance to effectively stop the continuous loop in your own head. Out of head to out of mouth. Be brave enough to do it.
There’s a new trend where people put frames around their flat-screen televisions in an attempt to make them more aesthetically pleasing. The frame allegedly elevates the look and makes the screen feel more like a work of art than technology stuck on the wall.
A similar philosophy was at play at the Belle Isle Aquarium in Detroit. Architect Albert Kahn designed the facility so that the tanks were positioned like art hanging on a gallery wall “to engage audiences in the grandeur of both the building and the incredible life within it.” The fish were the same as elsewhere, but the way they were displayed created a unique feel in the aquarium.
Think about where a frame could elevate your surroundings. Take your children’s artwork off the refrigerator and turn it into a gallery. Dig milestone documents out of the archives and create a historical display. Frame some important signs instead of just hanging paper. How you frame your message can reframe how it is received.
We can dread giving feedback when we think of it as a statement we must deliver. Another approach is to ask questions and see the exchange as an opportunity to learn.
You could start with:
By asking questions, you turn one-way communication into a conversation where you not only address the product, but also help the other person take ownership of the process and build analytical skills and self-awareness.
The next time you need to give feedback, approach it as an exploration rather than a declaration.
It’s been a while since I was on a group tour, so when I signed up for one, I expected the guide to shout information to the group like always. But in Detroit, I was pleasantly surprised to receive my own headset, which allowed me to hear the guide without straining and even let me control my volume. It made the tour much more enjoyable—and informative—since I could actually hear what was being said.
There is no need to (metaphorically) shout to your team either. Think of what tools will allow your message to actually be heard: technology, visuals, analogies, props, one-on-one, and repetition. Communication is only effective if people can receive it.
A sign at the Minute Man National Historical Park is a master class in obtaining actionable feedback. Instead of just asking for comments, the park provided a QR code for visitors to easily make submissions in three areas. The sign reads:
Minute Man National Historical Park belongs to the American people, and the National Park Service wants your feedback. Please let us know if you have identified (1) any areas that need repair; (2) any services that need improvement; or (3) any signs or other information that are negative about either past or living Americans, or that fail to emphasize the beauty, grandeur, and abundance of landscapes and other natural features.
How’s that for specific?
In a similar example, the school district task force I’m on is currently wrestling with wording for an online feedback form about proposed scenarios for facility use. The process has helped the group consider what it needs to learn, rather than just gathering opinions. It would be so much easier to say “give us your comments,” but asking about specific elements can hopefully provide insights that can advance the work.
It’s worth the time to consider what you actually want to know — and what you’ll do with information once you receive it — before deploying a generic form. Invest in the front end by articulating your questions, and you’ll save time by not having to weed through mere opinions on the back end.
Thanks, Meg!
One way to build confidence and get over the fear of rejection is to more intentionally track when you propose something and receive a “yes.”
You probably receive more approvals than you realize and focus only on the “no” answers. Instead, consider all these communications that could be denied, but when they aren’t, it’s a win.
Every idea or ask is an opportunity for rejection—but on the whole, I believe we receive many more agreements than denials. Don’t let your mind track only the negative responses.
