communication – leadership dots

leadership dot #4924: confidence

April 13, 2026April 10, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A recent discussion brought up the concept of emotional confidence vs. executional confidence.

When performing a task or implementing a project, people can appear confident and be perceived as having their act together, but inside, they don’t feel it. While the work comes off well, the one who executed it is full of self-doubt. They are confident in their ability to accomplish the goal, but less secure in their own value.

And if the work is consistently good, it becomes expected, and the affirmations trail off, leaving space for even more doubt to creep in.

Don’t assume that those doing good work know that their performance is strong. Give positive feedback about the outcomes, in addition to praising the person who achieved them. Emotion and execution are two separate things.

leadership dot #4921: opinion

April 10, 2026April 8, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

There is a distinction between sharing your opinion and sharing a judgment.

If you say you don’t like A, that is an opinion.
If you say you have concerns that A won’t work because you know XYZ, that is a judgment.

If you think A is a better choice because you prefer it, that is an opinion.
If you think A is the better option based on facts, that is a judgment.

Before you speak up or give credence to someone’s comment, consider whether there is any substantiation to the remarks or whether it’s just an opinion.

leadership dot #4918: red flags

April 7, 2026April 4, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

There is no perfect candidate, leaving us to hire someone who has some limitations. Ideally, some of those moments of hesitation will display themselves in the interview or reference check process, allowing the hiring manager to weigh the pros and cons before making an offer.

Too often, supervisors “hope” that their fears will be unrealized and everything will turn out well. They don’t want to bring up negatives, so they don’t say anything to the candidate/new employee. A better way to facilitate that process is to be very candid up front with the candidate about the weaknesses others saw in the interview and the concerns you have. It will give you shorthand to quickly refer to the initial “these are the hesitations” conversation you had at the start, allowing you to nip the behavior in the bud as soon as it is observed on the job.

Pay attention to your gut and be clear about your misgivings. It’s much easier to heed red flags and take precautions than it is to drag someone out of the water.

leadership dot #4916: day brightener

April 4, 2026April 4, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Earlier this week, I received a note from a student that I taught in 2022, telling me that he found what I taught him “to be extremely useful day to day.” Then yesterday, I received thanks for an article I wrote and shared appreciation for highlighting their story.

What day-brighteners! My student sent a direct message via LinkedIn, and the other compliment came via email — both quick methods of communication, but I will bask in the glow of those comments for much longer than it took them to write.

It’s a reminder that closing the loop and letting someone know the impact they have had is rare but treasured. Whose day can you make today by sharing a few words with them?

leadership dot #4915: steak

April 3, 2026April 3, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A consistent theme among my students and coaching clients is the difficulty they have with appropriately pushing back. They act as if it is easier to let someone take advantage of them, to let an objection go unspoken, or to take on extra responsibilities alone, than to experience the discomfort of speaking up. I spend a lot of time trying to disabuse this notion!

Someone just shared that they were served a well-done steak, even though they had ordered medium-rare. Typically, they would have just eaten the meal as served, but took the lessons to heart. When the waiter asked, “How is your meal?” they said that it was a bit overdone. Much to their surprise, it was no big deal at all for the waiter. He allowed them to keep the original steak, brought a properly prepared meal, and was pleasant throughout the exchange. Yeah!!

This is how you develop assertiveness skills. You don’t speak up for the first time in a leadership meeting, or use your beginner voice when challenging your boss. You practice, frequently, in inconsequential settings to train your brain to accept that discomfort is bigger in your mind than in reality.

Make “send the steak back” your new mantra. Have the courage to push back or ask for what you need when the stakes (ha!) are low, and build that muscle to speak up when it truly matters.

leadership dot #4914: venting

April 2, 2026March 30, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

We’ve all been there — something happens to us that gets us riled up, and our instinctual reaction is to vent to someone about it. It may make us feel better or provide positive reinforcement in a negative situation, but rarely does any good come from it. It drains time and energy and sucks others into the drama.

Being able to regulate emotions is one of the key factors in Emotional Intelligence, something that must be learned the more senior you are in the hierarchy. No one benefits when the leader rants or inappropriately shares another’s misstep.

But if you can’t control your emotions entirely, two guidelines that can keep you from making it worse:

Resist sharing until you can do so without drama. I liken this to throwing a wet towel (dot #313) — you need to wait until the “wet” has dissipated before you share, or the only focus will be on the emotion, not the content.
If you must involve someone else, be sure to “vent up,” never “vent down.” You may need to unburden yourself, but do so with a supervisor or someone up the hierarchy. Not only does this serve as a litmus test as to whether the sharing is appropriate, but it also keeps you from unfairly involving your staff in your issues.

Be mature enough to modulate your highs and lows and resist the urge to vent immediately. In most cases, this, too, shall pass without you acting out about it.

leadership dot #4913: no surprises

April 1, 2026March 29, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Today is April Fool’s Day, so you should be on high alert for pranksters. It’s a day for pulling practical jokes and preying on people’s gullibility in good fun.

Unfortunately, throughout the year, there are times when it feels like someone is pulling an April Fool’s joke, but they are serious. I hear the refrain “You’ve got to be kidding,” in my head, but the head-spinning proclamation from above turns out to be true.

People reluctantly put up with jokes on April 1, but on the whole, surprises in the workplace are unwelcome. Conduct yourself so that you aren’t pulling fast ones on your team. Deliver news with notice, not punch lines.

leadership dot #4908: chorus

March 27, 2026March 25, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

When I listen to hit songs, I’m often struck by how repetitive they are. The secret sauce seems to be singing the same chorus over and over. Pay attention the next time you’re listening to music!

We need to take lessons from these catchy tunes and repeat our messages multiple times. Too often, people think “I TOLD her how to do X,” “I SHOWED him what to do,” or “It was COVERED in onboarding, so they should know it.” It doesn’t work that way. Telling someone something once, whether you are trying to educate them, persuade them, or just communicate instructions, rarely sticks. We have too many inputs, and a message without context or proper timing is lost in the shuffle.

Some theorists believe that you need to repeat an advertising message seven times for it to be heard. Maybe you don’t need all your communication to be shared that many times, but once is clearly not enough. If you want everyone singing the same tune, think like a songwriter and create a chorus to add some repetition to what you’re hoping others remember.

Christmas Carol “Joy to the World” from the Irish Presbyterian Hymnal

leadership dot #4905: unexpectedness

March 24, 2026March 19, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

My dog ADORES the snow. Imagine her delight when she went outside one morning and found 6 inches of it, allowing her to bury balls, dig them out, jump between snowbanks, and do zoomies with the snow flying. It was heavenly!

And then, just as suddenly, a few days later, she returned to the back yard, and the snow was almost gone. Another surprise.

I think this unexpectedness happens in organizations, too. Dictates come from above that surprise people, and the decision may be reversed with equal randomness. Employees don’t have the benefit of an “organizational weather app” and become skeptical and disgruntled when practices change as frequently as the weather, but with little warning.

In the workplace, people don’t like surprises. Having it “snow” and then “melt” rattles the stable foundation that an organizational culture requires. My dog may not mind being flummoxed every time she walks outside, but don’t make it a mystery every time an employee walks into work.

leadership dot #4904: cross purposes

March 23, 2026March 19, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Those who know me know that I am a regular blood donor, having given over 17 gallons and counting. When I donate, the Red Cross encourages me to schedule my next appointment at the donation site or immediately afterward, which I always do.

It is then frustrating when I receive emails promoting the latest giveaway, in this case, an exclusive Life is Good t-shirt, available only from March 30 to April 12. It’s not like a store where incentives can drive people to make repeat visits. Donors can only give every 8 weeks, so I am ineligible to donate during that time.

It seems that the Red Cross promotions are working at cross purposes. They want people to schedule in advance, but then they cause them to miss out on promotions by offering them only for a two-week period, while their donors are bound to an eight-week cycle. Maybe next time, people should wait to see what is offered before signing up?

Incentives are a tricky thing. They can drive behavior, but also drive people to act in ways that are counter to the desired results. Before offering inducements, consider what other implications would happen if they worked.