leadership dots

leadership dot #4947: don’t assume

May 13, 2026May 12, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m part of the school district’s community task force, charged with making recommendations for how to align resources since the bond referendum failed. As part of our work, we toured one of the high schools. Among other spaces, we saw a robotics lab, drafting and engineering computer stations, hospital beds, welding bays, an engine repair station that allows students to work on everything from snowblowers to rebuilding car engines, and a construction lab where students are building sheds. It is offered at both high schools as part of the district’s career and college readiness program.

What I saw was nothing like any high school I went to. Had I not been on this task force, I would have driven by these schools every day, assuming all that was inside were classrooms, a library, a cafeteria, and a gym, as I had.

Think about what assumptions you might be making based on old or incomplete information. Maybe church has changed since you last attended years ago. Perhaps yoga isn’t as strenuous as you imagine, even though you have never tried it. Maybe you can learn pickleball. Perhaps if you take a tour of your schools, you would think differently the next time you vote. Maybe if you visited, you’d learn that the humane society has more than cats and dogs up for adoption. Perhaps if you attended a meeting, you’d learn how government really works.

Start by recognizing that you are making assumptions about many things, and then challenge yourself to learn firsthand whether your perceptions are true. You may be surprised at how different reality is from what you have been believing.

leadership dot #4946: wording

May 12, 2026May 11, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

It’s a rare person who likes to be told what they are doing wrong, but most people are more receptive to hearing what they can do to get better. This simple nuance of language can make the difference in whether someone actually hears your feedback in a way that is actionable.

For example, which do you think would be more effective:

“Your free throw is bad,” or “You’d be a stronger player if your free throw improved.”
“Your report is choppy,” or “Your report would benefit from stronger transitions.”
“That outfit doesn’t work on you,” or “A deeper shade would better complement your skin tone.”
“Your presentation was boring,” or “Next time, consider adding a few stories to your presentation.”
“Your event was confusing,” or “First-time attendees could have benefited from more information and signs.”
“Your feedback was poorly delivered,” or “Saying the same thing in a different way could make it more effective.”

Your goal isn’t to just deliver the message; you want it to alter behavior. Keep the end in mind at the beginning of your comments.

leadership dot #4945: don’t wait

May 11, 2026May 8, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

My spring allergies caused a cough that interrupted my sleep for weeks. All night long, I had this deep hacking as my sinuses dripped down my throat. I was tired and just did not feel well. I tried over-the-counter meds and went through two bottles of cough syrup before I finally went to the doctor. Within 24 hours of my visit, my energy returned and the coughing stopped, thanks to the serious meds I should have gotten a week earlier.

Why did I wait so long before asking for help?

We do this all the time. Staying after hours to work on a project alone, when our colleagues could have assisted during the day. Taking on responsibilities to plan the entire gathering instead of sharing the load. Struggling to assemble furniture or move it instead of relying on a buddy to assist. Spending time vexing over a problem instead of engaging others to help solve it. Going through trial and error instead of asking someone who knows how to do it.

In many cases, most people are happy to help and rarely are they annoyed by being asked. The problem is in our own heads, equating “asking” as a sign of weakness or lack of self-determination. Rid yourself of that myth and reach out the next time you would benefit from assistance. Don’t say “I’ve got this” when you don’t.

leadership dot #4944: mothers

May 10, 2026May 8, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

The musical Suffs highlights the last seven years of the 70-year struggle of the suffragists in their efforts to allow women to vote. One of the key numbers is Let Mother Vote, a plea to the men in their lives to give women the same rights and access to democracy that they enjoyed. It was a savvy way to help those not directly impacted realize that they had a role to play in the fight.

Today, I think of all the mothers who have made sacrifices — some carrying signs on the picket line, some still protesting today. I think of mothers who are engaged in public service, and those running in the upcoming elections. I think of all the mothers who have worked tirelessly to get out the vote, support candidates, staff the polls, and fulfill many of the less-glamorous roles required by the republic.

Mothers have been making sacrifices for their communities since the beginning. Today, let us appreciate the role women play and have played in helping America flourish and support them in their ongoing quest to provide the benefits of democracy to all.

leadership dot #4943: waitlist

May 9, 2026May 8, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Most restaurant reservation websites are straightforward and generic — you say how many in your party, and you are added to the waitlist.

The First Watch breakfast restaurant added a clever twist to theirs. When you indicate the number of people, it populates an egg crate accordingly. It’s on-brand, distinctive, and fun.

Think about how you can infuse “you” into the small things like your waitlist software. It’s egg-xactly the kind of special touch that can make your customers smile.

leadership dot #4942: skewed

May 8, 2026May 7, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A fast food receipt read: “Rate us a Highly Satisfied and Receive a BOGO Sandwich.” What kind of survey mechanism is this? Instead of soliciting accurate data about how well the restaurant is doing, it will falsely skew the results in a favorable direction, overemphasizing the positive. Any negative feedback has the likelihood of being discounted due to lower numbers.

It’s not just restaurants that rig the system to get good reviews. Some managers create a culture in which only positive comments are welcome. While they don’t dish out a BOGO sandwich, they achieve the same results by delusionally believing that, because they only hear good things, all must be well.

In the book Good to Great, Jim Collins noted that the great companies confronted the brutal facts. They may be hard to hear, but knowing you have problems or performance issues is the first step toward correcting them. Don’t delude yourself by insulating your input from bad news. The ones you want to reward are those who speak the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.

leadership dot #4941: phrase

May 7, 2026May 6, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the most useful phrases I know is “help me understand…” It is a sincere way to initiate a conversation when you may not agree with the person or premise before you, or when you want to learn another perspective. Examples:

“Help me understand why you think this is a good idea.”
“Help me understand what you are trying to accomplish with your proposal.”
“Help me understand what the best way is to support you right now.”
“Help me understand how I have upset you.”
“Help me understand what attributes you value in this candidate.”
“Help me understand your preferred learning style so I can onboard you most effectively.”
“Help me understand why you think you missed your goal.”
“Help me understand why you made the decision you did.”
“Help me understand your reaction to the meeting.”
“Help me understand where you would most like to be involved.”

I teach that a key component of a difficult or important conversation is your opening line. It sets the tone for what follows, and the “help me understand” phrasing tends to avoid defensiveness and starts the exchange off on a learning note. Give it a try and see if it can’t jumpstart a productive dialogue for you.

leadership dot #4940: pre-work

May 6, 2026May 5, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I required the students in my negotiation class to interview someone who practiced the skill in their career. Papers ranged from a Union steward to a police negotiator, supply contractor, and real estate agent, but all of them had one central message: preparation is key. The more you are clear on your stand, and the more you learn about the other party’s motivations, the better equipped you are to have a successful outcome.

I think preparation could be the key in most settings. The better prepared I am for a class or workshop, the more learning will take place. The more I plan ahead for an event or vacation, the more memorable the experience becomes. The more prepared I am for simple things like a trip to the grocery store, the more I can maximize my time. And so it goes.

Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Whether in negotiation or most any other activity, he is right. Don’t discount the importance of the pre-work.

leadership dot #4939: cinco

May 5, 2026May 4, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Today is Cinco de Mayo, and if you asked the average person about the day, I’d guess most would get two things wrong. It is not Mexican Independence Day, as many assume, but rather it celebrates the Mexican victory over the French army at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Secondly, the holiday is a bigger deal in the United States than it is in Mexico. Somehow, marketers of alcohol and avocados have convinced the U.S. public that today is a day to enjoy guacamole and margaritas, which really have nothing to do with the meaning behind the “holiday.”

Keep Cinco de Mayo in mind when your team or family needs an excuse to celebrate. You don’t need to limit yourself to major holidays or even “Hallmark holidays.” There is something every.single.day. that can be used as a theme to create connection and levity. Create your own reason for a toast!

leadership dot #4938: customize

May 4, 2026April 30, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

To the unfamiliar, one cowboy hat may look the same as another, but it turns out that these are very personal items. An entire store in Fort Worth, Texas, sells nothing but cowgirl hats and accessories to customize them: many, many accessories, from feathers to pins, bandanas, and leather strips. They even sell playing cards, matchbooks, and buttons so people can add their own touch — all before the hat is assembled and “branded.” Customers were spending a long time (and presumably a lot of money) finding that right combination of enhancements to convey their personality.

Other stores sell hats fully assembled, eliminating the angst over which decorations to choose and making the hats less expensive and ready to wear. For some, that may be the right option. Others obviously enjoyed the curation and quest to design the perfect grouping.

Don’t assume that what you offer has to be fully assembled. Perhaps there is a niche that would like a smorgasbord of your services, allowing them to pick and choose the combination that works best for them, rather than accepting the standard package. Maybe you can add in accouterments that provide a bonus for those willing to invest in a premium offering, or a discount for those who prefer the standard fare. Just like those cowgirl hats, one size does not fit all.