Category: perspective

leadership dot #4981: supportive

June 16, 2026June 15, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A colleague was on the receiving end of some bad news at work. Her boss called her when he heard, but instead of instantly jumping into a conversation about it, he asked: “Talk or space?”

It’s a simple question, but one packed with powerful understanding. Some people want to process aloud right away. Others want to be left alone to let things sink in and to handle their emotions privately. By asking in shorthand, you can quickly assess a person’s preference and either take a seat or close the door on your way out.

Don’t assume that everyone wants to talk things through. If your goal is to be supportive, start by asking what that looks like.

leadership dot #4980: put out

June 15, 2026June 13, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

The student speaker at my niece’s graduation made an insightful comment that has been noodling around in my head since I heard it. Ben Ryan of Roosevelt High School in Minneapolis said:

“I spent a lot of time asking myself who I was, eventually realizing that my best answer was ‘I don’t really know...So, instead of looking inward at something I didn’t understand, I began to pay more attention to what I was putting out. I started talking to the lunchroom staff every day when I got my lunch, really trying to connect with my teachers, having conversations with people that I would normally just walk past…What these small gestures made me realize is that we are what we put out. You are the people you surround yourself with. You are the stranger you start a conversation with in class. You are the person you smile at in the halls. You are the lunch server you tell to have a good day. What you put out is what you will become.”

I like this concept for its ease of implementation. Everyone can “put out” kindness and connection, and I think Ben is right that it benefits not only the person who receives it, but the giver as well.

Pay attention to what you “put out” today and let it reflect the person you wish to become.

leadership dot #4963: negotiation

May 29, 2026May 28, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Many resources on effective negotiation boil down to checklists: be prepared, know your bottom line, learn about the other person’s priorities, anchor the negotiation by making the first offer, ask questions, etc. But what makes the greatest difference is your mindset and how you approach the negotiation process.

The definition that resonated most with my class and me was from Margaret Neale:

“Negotiation is about finding a solution
to your counterpart’s problem
that makes you better off
than you would have been had you not negotiated.”

When you consider each of these components, it helps you focus on a solution-oriented approach; it helps you enter the process with more curiosity than certainty, and it may give you that extra boost of courage by framing it as a problem-solving conversation rather than an adversarial one. If you start by trying to find a solution to their problem, your whole perspective changes, and the negotiation tends to be more productive.

The next time you find yourself in a negotiation situation, whether about your kids doing chores, accepting a new project at work, making a major purchase, or just shopping at a garage sale, consider the interaction from your counterpart’s viewpoint. By helping them, it’s more likely that you, too, will benefit.

leadership dot #4962: inside the box

May 28, 2026May 27, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

In a webinar about his book Inside the Box, author David Epstein promoted the value of constraints and shared research about how limitations actually make you more creative. The brain wants to follow the path of least resistance, so it takes the easy route first, even though that is not where creativity lies.

The phrase that stuck with me is “It has never been easier to do too much.” People are wired to naturally think in terms of “adding,” and AI and other tools make it easier than ever to do so. We don’t think of subtracting, but constraints force you to clarify priorities and focus on the most important things to accomplish. I think it’s the premise behind writing a-dot-a-day!

Ernst Hemingway ended his days in the middle of a sentence, so he knew where to start tomorrow. Epstein adopted this strategy by writing down the #1 thing he needed to accomplish the next day, and not turning on his phone or other distractions until it was accomplished. He intentionally created a restraint to block the easy path his brain wanted to follow (phone scrolling) and instead channeled his creative energy into something more important.

Dr. Seuss chose to limit the number of words he would use in a book. Nest opted to design its box (what the end users would see first) before the thermostat itself. Other companies write the press release before starting on product design.

Think about how you can self-impose limitations that help direct your creativity to your priorities. Boundaries can turn out to be freeing.

leadership dot #4961: familiar

May 27, 2026May 27, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Have you noticed how many movies are extensions of the original story rather than original productions? The Devil Wears Prada 2, Star Wars: The Mandalorian, Mortal Kombat II, and even the 40th anniversary of Top Gun are examples of what is showing in the theaters today.

Time and money are among the most valuable commodities people have. To lower their risk of wasting either, people tend to invest in what is familiar. The summer concert series in our town features the majority of the same acts that performed last summer (and the summer before that, etc.). People tend to buy books written by the same author and music performed by the same artists instead of experimenting. We eat the same entrees at the same restaurants because they are a known commodity.

It’s time to remember that we did experiment with all those things that are now familiar favorites. We took a risk to see the first Star Wars, or to try that new bistro. We invested our time to watch a new act perform before we became their fans. We took a chance on our now-favorite author when we read her debut novel. Some risks paid off, while others did not, but all the things we cherish were once new to us.

Be brave today and try something for the first time. All great love affairs start by taking a risk.

leadership dot #4955: interject

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m a big fan of involving the supervisor in an aspect of the coaching relationship with one of their employees. While coaching needs to maintain sufficient separation for the “coachee” to be comfortable sharing difficult situations and challenges with the coach, it helps immensely when the supervisor can be looped in at occasional intervals.

Not only does this provide for updates, but it also allows a third party to interject with specific examples of behavior. There are things that the supervisor sees that the coachee may not even recognize they are doing, and, of course, the coach would have no way to know otherwise. With intermittent sessions with the supervisor, future coaching appointments can be adjusted in response to reality.

If an organization is investing in coaching for one of its employees, it’s in everyone’s best interest to have strong outcomes from the experience. Engage the supervisor to have the best chance of that happening.

leadership dot #4947: don’t assume

May 13, 2026May 12, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m part of the school district’s community task force, charged with making recommendations for how to align resources since the bond referendum failed. As part of our work, we toured one of the high schools. Among other spaces, we saw a robotics lab, drafting and engineering computer stations, hospital beds, welding bays, an engine repair station that allows students to work on everything from snowblowers to rebuilding car engines, and a construction lab where students are building sheds. It is offered at both high schools as part of the district’s career and college readiness program.

What I saw was nothing like any high school I went to. Had I not been on this task force, I would have driven by these schools every day, assuming all that was inside were classrooms, a library, a cafeteria, and a gym, as I had.

Think about what assumptions you might be making based on old or incomplete information. Maybe church has changed since you last attended years ago. Perhaps yoga isn’t as strenuous as you imagine, even though you have never tried it. Maybe you can learn pickleball. Perhaps if you take a tour of your schools, you would think differently the next time you vote. Maybe if you visited, you’d learn that the humane society has more than cats and dogs up for adoption. Perhaps if you attended a meeting, you’d learn how government really works.

Start by recognizing that you are making assumptions about many things, and then challenge yourself to learn firsthand whether your perceptions are true. You may be surprised at how different reality is from what you have been believing.

leadership dot #4942: skewed

May 8, 2026May 7, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A fast food receipt read: “Rate us a Highly Satisfied and Receive a BOGO Sandwich.” What kind of survey mechanism is this? Instead of soliciting accurate data about how well the restaurant is doing, it will falsely skew the results in a favorable direction, overemphasizing the positive. Any negative feedback has the likelihood of being discounted due to lower numbers.

It’s not just restaurants that rig the system to get good reviews. Some managers create a culture in which only positive comments are welcome. While they don’t dish out a BOGO sandwich, they achieve the same results by delusionally believing that, because they only hear good things, all must be well.

In the book Good to Great, Jim Collins noted that the great companies confronted the brutal facts. They may be hard to hear, but knowing you have problems or performance issues is the first step toward correcting them. Don’t delude yourself by insulating your input from bad news. The ones you want to reward are those who speak the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.

leadership dot #4941: phrase

May 7, 2026May 6, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the most useful phrases I know is “help me understand…” It is a sincere way to initiate a conversation when you may not agree with the person or premise before you, or when you want to learn another perspective. Examples:

“Help me understand why you think this is a good idea.”
“Help me understand what you are trying to accomplish with your proposal.”
“Help me understand what the best way is to support you right now.”
“Help me understand how I have upset you.”
“Help me understand what attributes you value in this candidate.”
“Help me understand your preferred learning style so I can onboard you most effectively.”
“Help me understand why you think you missed your goal.”
“Help me understand why you made the decision you did.”
“Help me understand your reaction to the meeting.”
“Help me understand where you would most like to be involved.”

I teach that a key component of a difficult or important conversation is your opening line. It sets the tone for what follows, and the “help me understand” phrasing tends to avoid defensiveness and starts the exchange off on a learning note. Give it a try and see if it can’t jumpstart a productive dialogue for you.

leadership dot #4935: pace

May 1, 2026April 30, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A key strategic component of the 1,000-mile Iditarod race is when to rest the dogs. It may be tempting to push them further, but competitive mushers know that the dogs cannot indefinitely sustain a racing pace and must be well-fed and well-rested along the journey.

It seems that not all supervisors take such care. Asking teams to push, push, push is not good for productivity or morale. At some point, those who stay will become burned out, and their output will suffer. Perhaps unrealistic expectations for ONE project can be accommodated, but no one can maintain a relentless pace over the long term.

Don’t confuse “possible” with “sustainable.”