Author: leadership dots by dr. beth triplett

I'm the chief connector at leadership dots where I serve as "the string" for individuals and organizations. Like stringing pearls together to make a necklace, "being the string" is an intentional way of thinking and behaving – making linkages between things that otherwise appear random or unconnected – whether that be supervising a staff, completing a dissertation or advancing a project in the workplace. I share daily leadership dots on my blog to provide examples of “the string” in action. I use the string philosophy through coaching, consulting and teaching to help others build capacity in themselves and their organizations. I craft analogies and metaphors that help people comprehend complex topics and understand their role in the system. My favorite work involves helping those new to supervision or newly promoted supervisors build confidence and learn the skills necessary to effectively lead their team.

leadership dot #4934: I don’t care

April 30, 2026April 29, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I recently visited some friends in Texas, and before every meal, they asked me if I had any preferences on what we should eat or where we should dine. I am not a foodie and not familiar with the area, so my answer was always, “I don’t care.” Finally, on the last day, I suggested we grab lunch in the barbecue restaurant in the H.E.B. grocery store. It’s about as casual as you can get, but it offers delicious food.

“H.E.B. is the best thing you have said since you got here,” said my host, who was delighted that, for once, I offered an opinion and he could ensure my happiness instead of guessing.

Following this visit, I spent a few days with my niece, who provided about as much input as I did with my friends. Everything was “fine,” or “whatever you want to do,” or “it doesn’t matter to me.”

Even though both of us found any option acceptable, it still put more burden on others. Instead of being freeing, the lack of direction put all the ownership on the hosts to make decisions and plans, with the hope that they would meet their guests’ unspoken preferences.

“I don’t care” is fine on occasion, but expressing a choice is actually a gift you can give.

leadership dot #4933: transitioning

April 29, 2026April 28, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m helping coach someone transitioning from an individual contributor role to a leadership role. She made an astute observation that in her previous position, her life revolved around checklists. She was able to write out tasks, cross them off as she accomplished them, and use them to direct her work. But as she is discovering in her new role, there are not always checklists as a leader. She wisely realized this difference and is working “to train her brain” to think differently about her work.

It’s a living example of the difference between a technical problem (where there is a ‘right’ solution) and an adaptive one (where no one solution exists). Leadership is much more intuitive and iterative, and often involves work on things that are never finished or can’t be checked off a list. It can trip up a new leader who has only known success through tasks and tangible outputs. Not only do you have to think differently, but you must also manage your time and priorities in a new way as well.

Consider whether you are in a “checklist” role or whether your time is more appropriately spent on relationships, strategy, and the intangibles that create an effective culture. Without the dopamine hit of crossing something off the list, successful leaders develop internal metrics of success.

leadership dot #4932: blind spots

April 28, 2026April 21, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A new book, Blindspotting, poses the question about what is stable in your personality and what can change. Author Martin Dubin proposes that you may not change your core, but through self-awareness, you can always adjust your behavior. He encourages people to become “self-curious.”

Dubin’s model shows a center motive (the why behind what motivates you), expressed through intellect, emotion, and traits. This inner core does not change, but you can change how these conditions show up in your behavior and identity (the outer core).

Dubin has created an assessment to help you identify where your default responses fall short and where too much of your strength becomes a liability. You can take the assessment here. It provides an interesting perspective on what to watch for when under stress.

We all have blind spots. Sometimes, we’re not open to hearing feedback about them or how our behavior could be modified. This assessment allows you to privately reflect (and correct) by pointing out what may be present to others, but not to you. Take 10 minutes to see yourself more clearly.

Source: Blindspotting, by Martin Dubin, 2026

leadership dot #2377a: broccoli

April 27, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

To help a group of child welfare leaders practice succinctly articulating their theory of change, we had them participate in a role-play exercise involving mock interviews with different constituent groups. Over the course of an hour, leaders rotated between speaking with a donor, board member, judge, parent, and law enforcement officer – changing their pitch and message with each rotation so it was targeted toward the respective interviewer.

In the subsequent debrief, leaders lamented about the challenge this exercise posed and how difficult it was to be succinct and relevant in the moment. “This exercise was like eating broccoli,” one of the leaders commented. “I know it was good for me, but I didn’t like it. It was the right thing to do, and I’ll thank you in the long run, but it wasn’t enjoyable now.”

I think many activities that occur are like eating broccoli, and, as such, we either avoid them voluntarily or others allow us to pass rather than impose the rigor and benefit that the exercise could deliver. We often gravitate to work or learning that is fun or easy, but there is something to be said for the growth that occurs from practicing things that are difficult and challenging.

Don’t be like President George H. W. Bush and proudly proclaim that you aren’t going to eat any more broccoli. Even if it’s not your favorite vegetable, use it as a metaphor for doing what you know will be helpful over time and regularly put a helping of it on your plate (or agenda!).

Originally published in modified form on December 18, 2018

leadership dot #1717a: potentially

April 26, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I had to laugh when I saw this sign:

Even though the dog wasn’t there, it was effective in keeping me at an extended distance. But my favorite part was the word “potentially.” Aren’t all dogs potentially vicious — if taunted or provoked?

I think of the wide range of emotions and behavioral expression that animals and people potentially have. Employees could put a sign at their desk or family members could hang one in the kitchen: Potentially _____________. Potentially Happy. Potentially Crabby. Potentially Snarky. Potentially Giddy.

We all have the potential to pick our attitude and emotions. Take care to choose one that doesn’t keep others away.

Originally published in modified form on February 12, 2017

leadership dot #2767a: where

April 25, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

For a simple warm-up icebreaker, I asked the participants where they would choose to have a gift card from if given one for free. It proved to be a great way to learn something about others in a quick and easy format.

Examples of answers included “DSW – because I’m a shoe nut – it would always be for shoes;” “Aldi – because we’re trying to pay down our debt and then I could use my grocery money to do that;” and “Best Buy – because I’m a techie and like the latest gadgets.” You could definitely get a sense of personality in a light-hearted way.

The next time you’re looking for an opening question for a group, toss out the gift card query. (And if it’s your group, take note of recognition opportunities for the future!) From where would you want yours?

Originally published in modified form on January 20, 2020

leadership dot #829a: triage

April 24, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

People often think that coming up with ideas is difficult. If you put any time into the thought process at all, ideas are the easy part. Usually, I, and those who work for me, have far more ideas than we can possibly implement. In reality, the real trick comes in when evaluating the ideas and deciding where to spend your time and resources.

I use a simple method of keeping track of ideas and goals: Now, Later, and Eventually.

There are certain things that can, or should, be done in the very short term. An idea for a birthday present. A quick process fix that can be done without much effort. Something you want to do this week or so.

“Later” is something that doesn’t make your immediate list, but is still relatively short-term. You don’t want your thinking to digress at this moment, but the idea is good and should be pursued soon. Later goals fall into the category of “the next time this comes up, I’ll address it.”

“Eventually” goals and ideas are things that really are good ideas, but the timing isn’t right to pursue them now. You don’t want to lose them or spend time on them now, so you can keep a list of longer-term items to revisit occasionally to see if any have moved into the “later” time frame.

This simple triage method may help you keep on track to accomplish what you can do now without distraction, but still allow you to prioritize and manage those good ideas that will make a difference in the future.

Originally published in modified form on September 8, 2014

leadership dot #1207a: consistency

April 23, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I was never a fan of Mr. Rogers, but I did appreciate one of his quotes:

“I like to swim, but there are some days I just don’t feel much like doing it — but I do it anyway! I know it’s good for me and I promised myself I’d do it every day, and I like to keep my promises.”

I can certainly relate his swimming to my blog writing. If I only wrote on the days I felt like it, I would have far fewer postings than I do now.

I wonder why it is that I keep to the discipline of writing a daily blog, but don’t always have the same tenacity with other intentions that I have. Could it be because the blogs are public, or more likely because they are numbered? Perhaps it is because I have not missed one day in over three years, so I hate to break the ‘streak’? Maybe it is because I don’t ask myself if I ‘feel like it’, because I hardly ever do.

Think about a positive behavior you have that you wish to replicate in other areas of your life. What characteristics make up that pattern, which you can apply to other tasks or habits? If Mr. Rogers could swim daily and I can write for [5063] days, maybe there are things we all can learn from that kind of consistency.

Source: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember by Fred Rogers, Hatchette Books, 2003

Originally published in modified form on September 21, 2015

leadership dot #223a: alignment

April 22, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A very helpful exercise to conduct with direct reports is what I call an alignment questionnaire. I ask staff to complete four questions and use their answers in future conversations to gain alignment on our priorities, expectations, and style. Later, I refer to what evolves from our conversations for use in the evaluation process.

The questions are as follows:

How do you conceptually see your job and your role in this organization? One way to frame this is to pretend you are presenting this to the board to explain your unit. Another way to look at it is to acknowledge that if you could be cloned, you could keep both of “you” busy in this job. Since there is only one of you, what parts are most important? This can be shared through a model, story, or statement —anything that helps me understand your philosophy on how you define your work (in writing, one page maximum).
A maximum of five specific priorities for the next year. These can be your priorities or priorities for your office, but absolutely no more than five specific items.
Part of my role as your supervisor is to help you facilitate change and to help you be successful. What do you want me to know in this respect?
- What ideas are in the incubation stage?
- What is your key strength as a unit/department?
- What needs do you have (now and in the future)?
- What challenges/barriers do you face?
- What do you need from me?
- What seeds do you want me to plant to support you/your work?
What advice would you give me to help me be an effective supervisor for you?

Many productive conversations have been stimulated by these questions, the first one in particular. I can recall several situations where the employee had one idea of what the job was (e.g., individual ombudsperson/problem-solving role) and I had another (e.g., systemic changes and data sharing). Our conversations led to alignment and employee success going forward.

Whether you do it formally or informally, I recommend that you spend time aligning philosophy with your direct report staff. The stars will shine more brightly if you do.

Originally published in modified form on January 10, 2013

leadership dot #313a: wet towel

April 21, 2026April 18, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Enjoy re-reading some of my favorite dots for a few days while I enjoy some time away….

When someone gets all worked up about something, the temptation is often to share their emotions with the first person around. Many times this plays out like someone vomiting in a cartoon — the words just blather out and spew all over the listener. The original party may feel better, but those who were the recipients of the sharing now have the burden of dealing with the emotions as well.

Like a stain on their shirt, they may choose to ignore it, but it is there nonetheless. More often than not, they don’t/can’t/won’t forget it is there, so the time and emotional energy invested in the issue multiplies.

In most instances, everyone would be better off if the original speaker allowed for an element of time to pass before sharing. Time has the ability to decompress emotion and put things into a much more reasoned perspective. Think of emotion as water being soaked up by a towel. Time is equivalent to ringing out the water, so that the towel may be easily passed on to another without fanfare or incident. If you hand someone a soaking wet towel, all the attention turns to dealing with the water rather than the towel. If you have let the emotion pass through, the actual issue may be addressed.

Next time you’re tempted to vent or insert drama into a situation, ask yourself if you really need to hand off the towel while it is soaking wet or whether everyone would be better off if you waited a bit before doing so. I’ll bet you know the right answer.

Originally published in modified form on April 10, 2013