Author: leadership dots by dr. beth triplett

There has been much written about the importance of developing habits that you tend to daily but I think that oftentimes puts unnecessary pressure on people. Jerry Seinfeld is known for his calendar where he placed a big “X” if he wrote a joke that day, but did it really need to be so rigid?

Especially in these unusual times, providing yourself with some grace and flexibility may do more to help you actually achieve your goals. For example:

• Set your goal to reach out to 10 customers/week instead of holding yourself accountable to two per day.
• Instead of saying you’ll read every night, make it your goal to read two books/month.
• Rather than committing write a daily dot, I pledge to publish one, allowing me the flexibility to write in advance.
• Pledge to walk 70,000 steps each week instead of feeling bad if you don’t get in your 10,000 each day.

By building in some flexibility into your goal-setting, you’ll have the opportunity to achieve your end result without the guilt of straying from your linear schedule. In the end, it’s the accomplishment, not the tracking that matters. Take realism into account and give yourself the latitude to stay focused on the big picture, even when life intervenes.

How’s this for a bucket list: walk in space and reach the deepest point in the ocean? Most people would never achieve either but Kathy Sullivan has completed both. She was the first woman to walk in space (in 1984) and this summer was part of an expedition that reached the Challenger Deep, nearly 7 miles below the surface.

Kathy Sullivan was trained as a geologist, became an astronaut, eventually was appointed as the Administrator for the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). When the current administration ended her tenure*, what’s an ex-astronaut to do except get involved with exploring the underside of the Earth instead of the skies above it.

Unlike Kathy, most of us don’t think big enough. Take a moment this weekend to think about your bucket list. Maybe space and the ocean depths are out of your league, but surely you can stretch more than going on a trip or becoming your ideal weight. It’s never too late to expand your world.

*read more about this in Michael Lewis’ The Fifth Risk

In Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham, the main character protests over and over that he does not like green eggs and ham – until he tries them. I feel a bit like that about remote presenting.

While there is still nothing that compares to the value of face-to-face, I’ve come to see the benefits that can accrue from synchronous instruction. Video conferencing platforms allow for multiple ways to input – verbally, written via chat, or more privately through breakout sessions – and have elicited feedback from those who may have remained silent in a large group setting. I’ve benefitted from the opportunity to do show and tell, bring in guest speakers from out of state, and to meet some of the family members and pets. Each time I present, I’m learning how to add a new feature or try a new technique – providing me with professional development in the process.

It helps that both the participants and I are becoming more equipped and comfortable with the technology that is used. It doesn’t seem so foreign anymore and we’re able to spend more time on the content than the process of accessing it. Being remote has even allowed for greater follow-up options and individual consultations that may not have been possible with pre-COVID travel schedules.

While white eggs are still preferable to the metaphorical green ones, my earlier hesitations were overblown. Is there a similar situation that you’re facing where you keep putting off something that you have not even tried? Are you avoiding the “green eggs” on principle, without having proven reasons for your dislike? Maybe it’s time to try a helping. You may be pleasantly surprised.

If you watched the early days of Grey’s Anatomy, you’ll know that Meredith and Christina always referred to each other as “their person.” They were the Plus One who provided a support system that ensured they weren’t going through life alone.

In the coaching work that I do, I feel like “the person” for most of my calls. It isn’t that I have an abundance of brilliant insights, rather that I’m there for someone to talk through their issues and have someone to reflect back what they are hearing. Work challenges can be lonely, as they often involve colleagues or supervisors making it awkward to process things with them, so it’s much more helpful to have a neutral “person” to serve in that sounding board role.

I believe that everyone is better with “a person.” Hopefully, you’re fortunate enough to have someone in that role for life issues: a sibling, partner or BFF. Make sure you have that capacity for work issues, too. Maybe it’s someone else in your industry, a colleague from your past employment or volunteer work, or a coaching relationship – but we all need someone in our corner to listen, prod, push and to create a safe space to process the hard stuff.