Author: leadership dots by dr. beth triplett

No matter your political views, I think everyone will be happy when the election media blitz is over. The incessant television and radio ads, constant phone calls, text messages, social media feeds, and, oh my gosh, the mail. Every single day, multiple pieces for the same candidate arrive in the mailbox. Literally billions have been spent on this election, trying to capture Independents and break through the polarization between parties. We’ll know soon if it worked.

While you’re in the thick of it, pay attention to what has captured your attention. Have positive messages resonated more than mud-slinging? Do you read copy on postcards or only the headlines? Does radio gain your focus while you’re “captive” in the car more than television? What is the role of your friends and family? Do you ever listen to callers, or is the phone only intrusive? Are in-person events your preferred way to learn? What sources provide believable messages for you?

This election cycle, you have been bombarded with inputs from every conceivable source, and the sheer quantity has likely annoyed you. At least get some benefit from it by spending a moment reflecting on lessons you can use the next time you need to communicate about your organization.

A scheduling conflict arose that overlapped with the class I am teaching. I really work to honor class time as sacred, but it was important that I move this session so I could attend the other appointment. I texted my students about the change and delayed their final project from Monday to Wednesday as well. I was surprised at their replies:

• Awh!!! I have so much work to do this weekend. That helps me so much. Thank you!!!
• Same! I was looking at my calendar struggling to find time. Thank you!
• That would be extremely helpful to me.
• Thank you!

I thought my need to rearrange would be an inconvenience for them, but it turns out the two extra days were an upside for all of us. I think the moral of the story is to ask for what you need. You may not always be as fortunate as I was with the replies, but you will never know by guessing.

Yesterday (dot #5076), I wrote about the downside of silence, and today I’ll share another situation where keeping things quiet may not be the best strategy — when talking with your boss.

It’s important to show deference, but that doesn’t mean being a “yes person” or keeping your mouth shut all the time. Sometimes, it is your responsibility to respectfully challenge them or point out gaps in their thinking. There are times when it is okay to push back and ask them to clarify priorities if the newest project pushes you beyond capacity. If there are questionable or unethical directives, silence isn’t the answer there either.

Nor should you expect your supervisor to read your mind. If you need resources or answers: ask! If you would like their input or help thinking through something, speak up! If you want more direction, professional development, or support from them, communicate that explicitly! If they are micromanaging or you want them to let you handle it, say that, too!

So much miscommunication occurs when people leave things unsaid. Don’t let silence keep you from getting what you need to do your job well.

“Pale se ajan, silans se lò.” It’s a Haitian saying that means, “Speaking is silver, but silence is gold.” Across the world, people teach “silence is golden,” but I think it is a myth. Sometimes, yes, but in many cases, not speaking up is at best a waste of time, and at its worst, problematic.

I am in a large group meeting and still haven’t heard one of the participants speak. I am sure they were invited to the team for a reason, but I haven’t yet discovered what it was because of their silence. I think of all the things they could be doing that may contribute to the organization, but sitting in this meeting isn’t one of them.

I think of the silence of those who see misdeeds or errors and don’t share them for fear of reprisal. That silence isn’t helpful either, because the wrongs will likely continue if left unchecked. We need people to use their voices and speak for what is right.

Silence in relationships isn’t positive either, because without candid, caring conversations, disagreements or value misalignments can fester and turn ugly. People need to feel safe sharing their concerns and feelings instead of holding them in silently.

People, especially girls, are taught to be “nice” and “not rock the boat,” but often the boat needs rocking. Respectful, honest feedback is what is golden.