Author: leadership dots by dr. beth triplett

If you’ve participated in any type of DEI training, it’s likely that you are familiar with the concept of microaggressions — small, often unintentional actions or language that are offensive to others. By understanding the history or context behind these microaggressions, you can avoid using them and communicate more respectfully.

The same premise applies to slights against women. Taylor Black compiled a collection of microfeminisms that may cause you to rethink whether you have unknowingly been favoring men over women in your speech or actions. Examples include:

• I work at a school, and when I have to call parents to pick up their sick kid, I call the dad first.
• I ask my kindergarten students what dad cooked for dinner last night and get very shocked if they say their mom cooked.
• I introduce my friends and their husbands in that order and add a superficial adjective before the husband. Like, this is Jane and her beautiful husband, Joe.
• I call male politicians by their first names only.
• I’m a yearbook editor, and for all the women’s sports, I simply have the sport’s name. But for the men’s, I put boys’ in front of each of them, i.e., soccer and boys’ soccer.
• Whenever a dad says he’s babysitting the kids or watching the kids, I say, Oh, so you mean you’re just parenting?
• I’m a travel agent, and I always book the flights to pair the child with the husband.
• I ask men, “Do you work?” instead of “What do you do for work?”

I admit that some of these hit home (Kamala or Hillary, anyone?), and it raised my consciousness about other ways that I make assumptions that stereotype women in lesser-than ways. Continue to learn about micro slights that can have macro impact, whether about gender, race, or any other distinction. We all have opportunities do better.

Thanks, Meg!

There is a difference between what you say and how you say it. People who come across as bullies may have great ideas, but resistance to their tone often overshadows their message. Those who speak more than they listen may find themselves ignored, and shouting is rarely effective. People who want to make change are usually more successful when they ask questions and seek input, rather than make declarations.

Even if you wear your bravo with pride, there are few roles where being a bulldozer is an asset, especially on a team. The method matters.