Category: life advice

It makes me crazy when someone (often with “director” in their title, no less) claims that they are not empowered to do something. I wonder what they are waiting for: someone to describe the task that is to be done, explicit permission to begin, or maybe they want an up-front guarantee that they won’t be reprimanded if the project doesn’t go as planned. Unfortunately for them, none of those options are likely to happen.

In Moments of Truth, Scandinavian Airlines president Jan Carlzon put it this way: “Nobody puts a proposal for a new comprehensive strategy on your desk and asks you to make a decision about it. You have to put it there yourself.”

Leadership is a verb, not a position. Leadership requires claiming empowerment, whether you believe you have a position that corresponds to your initiative or not. It is having the courage to risk saying or doing what you believe is in the best interest of the organization, even when the idea is unpopular. It means using your voice and experience to define what needs to happen, not just implementing what others have crafted.

The problem in most organizations isn’t that people are overstepping their bounds, it’s that they aren’t stepping up at all.

Technology is the area where I most freely ask for advice or admit I don’t know something. I’m not afraid of looking stupid because I’m “a dinosaur” and am not expected to know much about how modern devices work. No one is surprised or shaming when I ask because social norms say my generation is not supposed to be tech-savvy. As a result of this liberation, I ask often and have learned a lot.

I think what limits people from this exchange of knowledge on other topics is the hesitation on the part of the asker not the respondent. The hang-ups people have about appearing incompetent or uninformed cause them to feign wisdom that they don’t have or to spend unnecessary time trying to figure something out on their own. It’s not that others wouldn’t freely assist on topics other than technology; it’s that people craft excuses in their own mind about why not to ask.

To create an environment of trust, break the stereotype that those in charge are “supposed” to know the answers. Take the lead in asking for assistance or sharing that you don’t know something. Admit when you messed up and need someone to help you figure out why. Be vulnerable enough to say that you need to learn how to do something, even if it may seem obvious or basic to others. Saying “I don’t know” is the fastest way to accumulate that knowledge. Be brave enough to raise your hand.

In the introduction to the 25th-anniversary edition of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Jim Collins wrote: “I think of what he [7 Habits author Stephen Covey] did for personal effectiveness as analogous to what the graphical user interface did for personal computers…Covey created a standard operating system – the “Windows” – for personal effectiveness and he made it easy to use.”

What a high compliment that was – how nice for someone to say that I am the graphical user interface for supervision or for the organizational behavior or leadership classes that I teach.

The wisdom of simplification is often overlooked. On too many occasions, people feel like they need to make their message or proposal sound sophisticated or full of big words and jargon when in reality it would be much more powerful if it was communicated through an analogy or story. Synthesizing the key lessons into a memorable list (e.g. 7 Habits or STAR supervision) is harder to accomplish but far more memorable than having tomes on the subject.

Covey sold over 25 million copies of his 7 Habits book and Microsoft claims over 400 million users of Windows. The next time you are working on a project, think about the graphical user interface and attempt to elegantly simplify the complex.

Thanks to my friend Tracy, my car has a decal that makes it appear as if an actual golden retriever is riding in my back seat. It’s so realistic that dogs bark at it and many people have pointed to it while driving next to me. I’ve also had literally dozens of others seek me out to ask where to buy one, including several who waited for me to come out of a store so they could get the information.

When asked, it would be easy to demur and say that a friend gave it to me or I didn’t know, lest the proliferation of these decals lose the uniqueness and become the next “Baby on Board” phenomenon. But why rob someone of the joy?

People who hold back recipes, don’t share books, or won’t generously give information on where they bought something are just robbing themselves of the pleasure of giving.

If someone admires something of yours, freely help them bring that joy into their own lives.

[the decal, which comes in several animals and famous personalities, is called a Joy Rider Window Cling – available at Amazon, of course]