Category: life advice

leadership dot #4963: negotiation

May 29, 2026May 28, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Many resources on effective negotiation boil down to checklists: be prepared, know your bottom line, learn about the other person’s priorities, anchor the negotiation by making the first offer, ask questions, etc. But what makes the greatest difference is your mindset and how you approach the negotiation process.

The definition that resonated most with my class and me was from Margaret Neale:

“Negotiation is about finding a solution
to your counterpart’s problem
that makes you better off
than you would have been had you not negotiated.”

When you consider each of these components, it helps you focus on a solution-oriented approach; it helps you enter the process with more curiosity than certainty, and it may give you that extra boost of courage by framing it as a problem-solving conversation rather than an adversarial one. If you start by trying to find a solution to their problem, your whole perspective changes, and the negotiation tends to be more productive.

The next time you find yourself in a negotiation situation, whether about your kids doing chores, accepting a new project at work, making a major purchase, or just shopping at a garage sale, consider the interaction from your counterpart’s viewpoint. By helping them, it’s more likely that you, too, will benefit.

leadership dot #4962: inside the box

May 28, 2026May 27, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

In a webinar about his book Inside the Box, author David Epstein promoted the value of constraints and shared research about how limitations actually make you more creative. The brain wants to follow the path of least resistance, so it takes the easy route first, even though that is not where creativity lies.

The phrase that stuck with me is “It has never been easier to do too much.” People are wired to naturally think in terms of “adding,” and AI and other tools make it easier than ever to do so. We don’t think of subtracting, but constraints force you to clarify priorities and focus on the most important things to accomplish. I think it’s the premise behind writing a-dot-a-day!

Ernst Hemingway ended his days in the middle of a sentence, so he knew where to start tomorrow. Epstein adopted this strategy by writing down the #1 thing he needed to accomplish the next day, and not turning on his phone or other distractions until it was accomplished. He intentionally created a restraint to block the easy path his brain wanted to follow (phone scrolling) and instead channeled his creative energy into something more important.

Dr. Seuss chose to limit the number of words he would use in a book. Nest opted to design its box (what the end users would see first) before the thermostat itself. Other companies write the press release before starting on product design.

Think about how you can self-impose limitations that help direct your creativity to your priorities. Boundaries can turn out to be freeing.

leadership dot #4961: familiar

May 27, 2026May 27, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Have you noticed how many movies are extensions of the original story rather than original productions? The Devil Wears Prada 2, Star Wars: The Mandalorian, Mortal Kombat II, and even the 40th anniversary of Top Gun are examples of what is showing in the theaters today.

Time and money are among the most valuable commodities people have. To lower their risk of wasting either, people tend to invest in what is familiar. The summer concert series in our town features the majority of the same acts that performed last summer (and the summer before that, etc.). People tend to buy books written by the same author and music performed by the same artists instead of experimenting. We eat the same entrees at the same restaurants because they are a known commodity.

It’s time to remember that we did experiment with all those things that are now familiar favorites. We took a risk to see the first Star Wars, or to try that new bistro. We invested our time to watch a new act perform before we became their fans. We took a chance on our now-favorite author when we read her debut novel. Some risks paid off, while others did not, but all the things we cherish were once new to us.

Be brave today and try something for the first time. All great love affairs start by taking a risk.

leadership dot #4949: emotions

May 15, 2026May 14, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the tenets of Emotional Intelligence is the ability to moderate emotions and channel them into productive uses. But before you can moderate, it’s important to learn to recognize what is truly at the core of your emotional reaction. Why are you so mad in this meeting? Why did that comment set you off? Why are you envious of another person’s success? Why are you feeling unappreciated?

And then, while it may be appropriate to moderate your emotions in the moment, it does no good to suppress them or to ignore the root cause. The next skill is learning the courage to address what triggered your feelings, whether through a conversation with another person, a change in your behavior, or altering the circumstances in the future.

As Disney showed, emotions have the ability to turn you inside out. Treat them like you would any other performance skill and work to strengthen your command of their power. Recognize, moderate, and address.

leadership dot #4948: everywhere

May 14, 2026May 13, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A colleague presented a workshop session sharing the words of wisdom he learned from others over the years. Another colleague taught a class based on lessons learned from movies. There are many books on marketing insights from the Grateful Dead, and much has been written analyzing Taylor Swift’s business savvy.

We often think that learning is a formal process, and you must be in a classroom or seminar to absorb it. In reality, opportunities for education, inspiration, and insight are everywhere. The lessons are there if you pay attention.

leadership dot #4947: don’t assume

May 13, 2026May 12, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m part of the school district’s community task force, charged with making recommendations for how to align resources since the bond referendum failed. As part of our work, we toured one of the high schools. Among other spaces, we saw a robotics lab, drafting and engineering computer stations, hospital beds, welding bays, an engine repair station that allows students to work on everything from snowblowers to rebuilding car engines, and a construction lab where students are building sheds. It is offered at both high schools as part of the district’s career and college readiness program.

What I saw was nothing like any high school I went to. Had I not been on this task force, I would have driven by these schools every day, assuming all that was inside were classrooms, a library, a cafeteria, and a gym, as I had.

Think about what assumptions you might be making based on old or incomplete information. Maybe church has changed since you last attended years ago. Perhaps yoga isn’t as strenuous as you imagine, even though you have never tried it. Maybe you can learn pickleball. Perhaps if you take a tour of your schools, you would think differently the next time you vote. Maybe if you visited, you’d learn that the humane society has more than cats and dogs up for adoption. Perhaps if you attended a meeting, you’d learn how government really works.

Start by recognizing that you are making assumptions about many things, and then challenge yourself to learn firsthand whether your perceptions are true. You may be surprised at how different reality is from what you have been believing.

leadership dot #4945: don’t wait

May 11, 2026May 8, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

My spring allergies caused a cough that interrupted my sleep for weeks. All night long, I had this deep hacking as my sinuses dripped down my throat. I was tired and just did not feel well. I tried over-the-counter meds and went through two bottles of cough syrup before I finally went to the doctor. Within 24 hours of my visit, my energy returned and the coughing stopped, thanks to the serious meds I should have gotten a week earlier.

Why did I wait so long before asking for help?

We do this all the time. Staying after hours to work on a project alone, when our colleagues could have assisted during the day. Taking on responsibilities to plan the entire gathering instead of sharing the load. Struggling to assemble furniture or move it instead of relying on a buddy to assist. Spending time vexing over a problem instead of engaging others to help solve it. Going through trial and error instead of asking someone who knows how to do it.

In many cases, most people are happy to help and rarely are they annoyed by being asked. The problem is in our own heads, equating “asking” as a sign of weakness or lack of self-determination. Rid yourself of that myth and reach out the next time you would benefit from assistance. Don’t say “I’ve got this” when you don’t.

leadership dot #4940: pre-work

May 6, 2026May 5, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I required the students in my negotiation class to interview someone who practiced the skill in their career. Papers ranged from a Union steward to a police negotiator, supply contractor, and real estate agent, but all of them had one central message: preparation is key. The more you are clear on your stand, and the more you learn about the other party’s motivations, the better equipped you are to have a successful outcome.

I think preparation could be the key in most settings. The better prepared I am for a class or workshop, the more learning will take place. The more I plan ahead for an event or vacation, the more memorable the experience becomes. The more prepared I am for simple things like a trip to the grocery store, the more I can maximize my time. And so it goes.

Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Whether in negotiation or most any other activity, he is right. Don’t discount the importance of the pre-work.

leadership dot #4935: pace

May 1, 2026April 30, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A key strategic component of the 1,000-mile Iditarod race is when to rest the dogs. It may be tempting to push them further, but competitive mushers know that the dogs cannot indefinitely sustain a racing pace and must be well-fed and well-rested along the journey.

It seems that not all supervisors take such care. Asking teams to push, push, push is not good for productivity or morale. At some point, those who stay will become burned out, and their output will suffer. Perhaps unrealistic expectations for ONE project can be accommodated, but no one can maintain a relentless pace over the long term.

Don’t confuse “possible” with “sustainable.”

leadership dot #4934: I don’t care

April 30, 2026April 29, 2026by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I recently visited some friends in Texas, and before every meal, they asked me if I had any preferences on what we should eat or where we should dine. I am not a foodie and not familiar with the area, so my answer was always, “I don’t care.” Finally, on the last day, I suggested we grab lunch in the barbecue restaurant in the H.E.B. grocery store. It’s about as casual as you can get, but it offers delicious food.

“H.E.B. is the best thing you have said since you got here,” said my host, who was delighted that, for once, I offered an opinion and he could ensure my happiness instead of guessing.

Following this visit, I spent a few days with my niece, who provided about as much input as I did with my friends. Everything was “fine,” or “whatever you want to do,” or “it doesn’t matter to me.”

Even though both of us found any option acceptable, it still put more burden on others. Instead of being freeing, the lack of direction put all the ownership on the hosts to make decisions and plans, with the hope that they would meet their guests’ unspoken preferences.

“I don’t care” is fine on occasion, but expressing a choice is actually a gift you can give.