Category: life advice

I have written before (dot 2202 and dot 2672) about my pearl analogy — how small strengths, initiatives, or programs can be strung together to form a “necklace” or cohesive whole. The string that serves as the through-line is a critical element — if you aren’t sure what you’re trying to achieve, it’s hard to know which “pearls” should be included and which are distractions.

But I think the most important part of the necklace is the clasp. The clasp is the element that not only holds it together in the short term, it also ensures viability over time. The connector keeps the pearls from entropy — falling off when people are no longer paying attention to assembling them. In a project, the metaphorical “clasp” is often overlooked — people are so excited to have all the pearls strung that they rejoice in the moment and fail to take those extra steps to strengthen the work for the future.

A string with a bunch of pearls is not a necklace without a clasp. Don’t stop short of making that final connection that allows the work to be useful for years to come.

I was whizzing through a Solitaire game last night, quickly putting many of the cards onto their respective Aces.

And then I got stuck.

It seems that I put too many of the cards there instead of leaving them in the rows where they could serve as connections to the other cards I needed to play. By putting some of the cards from the Aces back into the game, I was able to complete the round as a winner.

It reminded me of change efforts and the downside of trying to go too fast. Sometimes, we zip along on our own and make lots of progress — but fail in the end because we have not spent the time to make the bridges necessary for ultimate success. We then need to backtrack which, of course, takes more time in the end.

Play both Solitaire and the game of life with enough intentionality to value connection over speed.

If you’ve ever been to a petting zoo, you know the goats jump all over you, either to eat the food you purchased or to nibble on whatever else you may have with you. Mostly, they are obnoxious. But when I was on the goat trek where the animals were free to roam in the woods, they acted more like docile dogs. If I could have taken one home as a pet, I would have welcomed it.

My experience reminded me of the quote from Zen Master Shunryū Suzuki: “The best way to control cow and sheep is to give them a big grazing field.”

It works for people as well. If you feel constrained, whether from too little time or autonomy, too little money, or any other factor, things begin to close in on you, and the constraint becomes an additional negative factor to contend with. You feel the original pressure and now the weight of being under the gun. Under stress, you often (metaphorically) jump all over people.

We do our best work when we have the equivalent of a “big grazing field.” Intentionally try to create one for yourself and your staff. Allow ample time to complete projects. Build in buffers. Be conservative in setting deadlines and delivery expectations. Create free time in your personal schedule to recharge and reduce some of the pressures. Don’t overschedule weekends and vacations.

Creating space may feel like a luxury but in reality, it provides the freedom to be your best self.