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To help a group of child welfare leaders practice succinctly articulating their theory of change, we had them participate in a role-play exercise involving mock interviews with different constituent groups. Over the course of an hour, leaders rotated between speaking with a donor, board member, judge, parent, and law enforcement officer – changing their pitch and message with each rotation so it was targeted toward the respective interviewer.

In the subsequent debrief, leaders lamented about the challenge this exercise posed and how difficult it was to be succinct and relevant in the moment. “This exercise was like eating broccoli,” one of the leaders commented. “I know it was good for me, but I didn’t like it. It was the right thing to do, and I’ll thank you in the long run, but it wasn’t enjoyable now.”

I think many activities that occur are like eating broccoli, and, as such, we either avoid them voluntarily or others allow us to pass rather than impose the rigor and benefit that the exercise could deliver. We often gravitate to work or learning that is fun or easy, but there is something to be said for the growth that occurs from practicing things that are difficult and challenging.

Don’t be like President George H. W. Bush and proudly proclaim that you aren’t going to eat any more broccoli. Even if it’s not your favorite vegetable, use it as a metaphor for doing what you know will be helpful over time and regularly put a helping of it on your plate (or agenda!).

Originally published in modified form on December 18, 2018

I had to laugh when I saw this sign:

Even though the dog wasn’t there, it was effective in keeping me at an extended distance. But my favorite part was the word “potentially.” Aren’t all dogs potentially vicious — if taunted or provoked?

I think of the wide range of emotions and behavioral expression that animals and people potentially have. Employees could put a sign at their desk or family members could hang one in the kitchen: Potentially _____________. Potentially Happy. Potentially Crabby. Potentially Snarky. Potentially Giddy.

We all have the potential to pick our attitude and emotions. Take care to choose one that doesn’t keep others away.

Originally published in modified form on February 12, 2017

Enjoy re-reading some of my favorite dots for a few days while I enjoy some time away….

When someone gets all worked up about something, the temptation is often to share their emotions with the first person around. Many times this plays out like someone vomiting in a cartoon — the words just blather out and spew all over the listener. The original party may feel better, but those who were the recipients of the sharing now have the burden of dealing with the emotions as well.  

Like a stain on their shirt, they may choose to ignore it, but it is there nonetheless. More often than not, they don’t/can’t/won’t forget it is there, so the time and emotional energy invested in the issue multiplies.  

In most instances, everyone would be better off if the original speaker allowed for an element of time to pass before sharing. Time has the ability to decompress emotion and put things into a much more reasoned perspective. Think of emotion as water being soaked up by a towel. Time is equivalent to ringing out the water, so that the towel may be easily passed on to another without fanfare or incident.  If you hand someone a soaking wet towel, all the attention turns to dealing with the water rather than the towel. If you have let the emotion pass through, the actual issue may be addressed.

Next time you’re tempted to vent or insert drama into a situation, ask yourself if you really need to hand off the towel while it is soaking wet or whether everyone would be better off if you waited a bit before doing so.  I’ll bet you know the right answer.

Originally published in modified form on April 10, 2013