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leadership dot #3104a: collect evidence

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Motivational speaker Lisa Nichols recommends that when you are doubting yourself or your abilities, you should “collect evidence” to disabuse your perceptions. If you feel that you aren’t being a leader, compel yourself to write down examples and situations in which you did exhibit leadership and use this list as affirmations to help you overcome your fear.

I would suggest that collecting evidence is a good practice for many situations. Oftentimes, our mind exaggerates reality – both in negative and positive ways. If we see concrete examples of what is truly occurring, it may simplify our decision-making processes and make it easier to ascertain facts. If we think that we aren’t spending enough time on our relationships, a simple time accounting can confirm or deny that supposition and guide us toward making changes. If we are questioning the performance of one of our staff members, collecting evidence can help us see more clearly whether there is a behavioral pattern or whether we are just more cognizant of the occasional times when their actions lapse. And if we are questioning whether we are being assertive enough in meetings, a private log may help us realize that we speak up more than we feel we do.

In order to overcome fears or celebrate small wins, it is beneficial to have a starting point and to track the changes over time. Collecting evidence is often the closest we can come to looking in the mirror and seeing what is truly there.

Leadership Reinvention workshop with Lisa Nichols, Massachusetts Conference for Women, 12-10-20

Originally published on December 14, 2020

leadership dot #2393a: chameleon

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It is amazing how quickly we can become accustomed to something. Sleeping in a different bed for a week over the holidays made my own bed feel different when I returned to it. A few days of driving a rental car became the norm instead of the vehicle that I have driven for 40,000 miles. The temperature in my brother’s home that initially felt warm, suddenly made my house feel chilly even though my thermostat did not change.

The mind is a mental chameleon. In the span of less than a week, and without any intentional effort on my part, my psyche adapted to the environment around it and accepted it all like the new reality.

If our minds are so malleable, how can you find a way to use this trait to your advantage? The first morning the alarm goes off an hour earlier will be painful, but after a few days of adjustment, you’ll be in a routine of having that extra time for reading or exercise. You may miss the first automatic withdrawal into your savings account, but soon your new net pay will seem to be the standard. You may feel hungry when you first reduce your portions and eat from a smaller plate, but before long, restaurant-sized portions will feel excessive.

You become used to what you are used to – for good or bad. Endure a brief period of sacrifice to make your surroundings work for you, and soon you won’t even realize you gave anything up to achieve those benefits.

Originally published on January 3, 2019

leadership dot #3124a: thaw

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During one of last year’s storms, my bush became encrusted in ice. I debated whether I should do something about it or whether my intervention would cause more harm. Ultimately, I decided to leave it alone, and the bush is thriving today.

I think that with people, as in nature, there are times when you’re better off letting things resolve themselves on their own. Every problem doesn’t need you to insert yourself in finding a solution. Consider letting the situation thaw before you automatically rush to address it.  Too much heat can cause a fire.

Originally published in modified form on January 3, 2021

leadership dot #2307a: exit

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I think life is like an interstate that has many off-ramps. When we describe our journey, we usually only consider the exits we took, but there is a similar impact from the times you did not leave the main road. It’s easy to reflect on the things that we did, but we are also shaped by the choice not to take many actions in life.

I’m teaching a class this term, and I love it, so I began wondering why I was so late to the teaching game. I didn’t really begin teaching academic classes until a few years ago – and then I remembered that in the Nineties I was asked to teach a class, but my boss wouldn’t give me permission to do so. I never really considered it again until, many years and several institutions later, a faculty member became pregnant with twins and they needed me to teach. I have been a regular instructor ever since. Not teaching 20 years ago is one of those decision points that influenced many subsequent outcomes down the road.

I had this epiphany about (not) teaching while I was driving, and as my mind wandered, I recalled numerous examples that would have had a ripple effect of consequences had I done something instead of passing on the opportunity. I turned down the chance to chair a convention, which made me available to serve on the board. I haven’t touched my dissertation since the day I turned it in, closing off chances to present and publish in a new field. I didn’t take pre-calculus in high school, so I became a journalism major in college instead of marketing because of the calculus requirement for business majors. The list goes on.

The next time you’re on a drive or have the chance to do some reflection, consider just the exit ramps you drove by in your life. You may or may not regret staying on the path you took, but a big part of who you are comes from the roads you didn’t travel.

Originally published in modified form on October 9, 2018

leadership dot #2346a: postcard

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One of the most undervalued tools out there is the postcard. We all know that writing letters is a dying art, and even the act of penning anything by hand is all but lost, but a simple postcard enables you to do both without the heavy lifting a full letter seems to require.

I use postcards as a quick way to say “I’m thinking about you” in a way that is far more meaningful than an email or text. A handwritten hello takes no time at all to do, yet has an impact that far outweighs the investment. It often even inspires the recipient to write back!

To facilitate the process and make it even easier, I keep postcards everywhere – in my purse, car, notepad, briefcase, suitcase – so that if I have an extra five minutes, I can dash one out and be ready to pop it in the mail. You can buy large pads of scrapbooking paper and make your own colorful 4×6 creations, or buy them in bulk. Either way, it is the sentiment rather than the artwork that makes the difference.

Think of a postcard as a paper hug and send one off – frequently – to those who are dear to you. Love really can travel through the mail.

Originally published in modified form on November 17, 2018

leadership dot #2389a: practical

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I am pragmatic and a realist; consequently, I have laminate floors instead of carpeting and rubber floor mats in my car. I can’t imagine what my house or vehicle would look like if the elements from Midwest rain-sleet-snow-mud were tracked onto a non-washable surface. I think rubber floor mats should be standard in all new cars!

We are all faced with frequent choices where we must weigh beauty over practicality. Do I wear a hat and mess up my hair or stay warm? Do I opt for the beautiful white chair or something that is more retriever-colored to disguise the dog hair? Do I spend time designing a new handout or reuse the one from my last class?

There are times to opt for looks and other times to be pragmatic. Don’t always opt for one over the other.

Originally published in modified form on December 30, 2018

leadership dot #2406a: how to sled

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A colleague’s young son had to describe the process of how to do something. According to Leo, here is how to sled:

  1. We go to the hill to sled.
  2. Then we go home.
  3. Then you go in sid your howse.

I think that adults follow a similar pattern too often:

  1. I went to the conference. 2. Then I went home. 3. Then I went back to work as if nothing was learned and nothing changed as a result of the training.

Or

  1. I went to church. 2. Then I went home. 3. Then I went about my business and didn’t think about God or faith or religion again until next Sunday.

Or

  1. I went to a meeting. 2. Then I went back to my desk. 3. Then I did nothing to follow up or advance the agenda until it was time to cram for the next meeting.

And so on.

Don’t just go to the hill and then go home. What you do in between is where all the opportunity lies.

Thanks, Katie!

Originally published in modified form on January 16, 2019

leadership dot #3109a: naughty

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In a nod to holiday humor, the speed detector signs in our town have changed their messaging for the season. Now, instead of flashing “thank you” when you’re driving within the limit, the sign shows a green “NICE” and, my favorite, when you exceed the speed limit, instead of a generic “slow down,” you are greeted with a red “NAUGHTY.”  I will confess that I speed up every time just to get a good laugh.

This adjustment in the signs costs nothing but a few moments of re-programming time, yet it adds an aura of festivity to the season. Subtle changes like this – where you intentionally consider all aspects of the environment and your messaging can add up to create a culture or mood in very effective ways.

Santa may not know if you’re naughty or nice, but your audience certainly does. Make the time to tend to the details that will put you at the top of their list.

I hope you were on the NICE list this year. Merry Christmas!

Originally published in modified form on December 19, 2025

leadership dot #3114a: aspect

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During the holiday season, many different aspects of our lives merge – we may actively focus on being an aunt or a son when those roles are otherwise dormant, or we may become the young kid again instead of the in-charge CEO. We may reunite with old friends or neighbors who know more about our youth than our present, or we may shine as the family organizer even though we are more laid-back in our later years. It can be hard to reconcile how people see us with how we see ourselves.

Remember that you only know a portion of the story of all those you meet. Uncle Joe may make you crazy, but you haven’t seen the joy he spreads to his war buddies. Your sister may be quiet at the holiday table, but share her voice when advocating for a cause. You may be the only one on the Zoom call who knows the silly side of your cousin or the persistence of your nephew.

Everyone knows a different aspect of you. Whether in person or remotely, let those who share your holidays see a bit of your joy.

Originally published on December 24, 2020

leadership dot #2027a: yet

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I made a purchase in a small independent gift store and asked for a gift receipt. The owner, who was also running the register and appeared to be the only employee, said: “Oh, we aren’t able to offer them – yet.”

What a hopeful word: “yet.” It acknowledges that she knows her current limitations but has plans to overcome them.

I used to tell my staff that everything was better than it was and not as good as it could be. Yet.

Think about how you can convey a sense of possibility with your vocabulary this year.

Originally published in modified form on January 2, 2018