If you want different behaviors from people, watch what you tolerate.
We know this from raising pets. If you allow that cut puppy to jump on you, that big dog will jump on you, too. If you put up with indiscriminate barking in the beginning, chances are you’ll have a barker for life.
But we sometimes fail to make that connection with people and allow others to continue with behaviors that should have been stopped when they first started.
We tolerate:
- Someone who dominates at every meeting, instead of initially establishing group ground rules
- Someone who never speaks up, instead of calling on them and prompting input
- People turning in late work, instead of creating consequences for doing so
- Inappropriate remarks from others, instead of calling them out on them
- Others who fail to carry their weight on projects, instead of holding them accountable
- People who are perpetually late by waiting, instead of proceeding without them
Our actions (or inactions) teach others how to treat us. The longer you allow a behavior you don’t like to continue, the harder it is to course-correct. Stop tolerating and speak up.
