Month: March 2022

leadership dot #3556: will

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I’ve never heard any of Will Smith’s rap albums, watched an episode of Fresh Prince, seen the majority of his movies, or considered myself a fan — until I finished reading Will, his authentic and inspiring autobiography. My takeaway from his book is the power of a strong work ethic — his is amazing. Will Smith makes me feel like a slug.

Two examples: 1) Smith wanted to be the Biggest Movie Star in the World so he studied the habits of those who were successful and learned that promoting a movie overseas helped with box office gross which in turn led to bigger movie roles. Smith writes: “So I would shoot The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air during the week, leave the set, go straight to the airport, fly to Europe overnight, land Saturday morning, do interviews all day, do a premiere, sign autographs all night, head straight back to the airport, hop back on the jet, memorize my lines for the next Fresh Prince episode, and land in LA just in time to go to sleep Sunday night.” He even learned a few phrases in the local language to increase the chance he would be featured on their news.


2) He committed to attending all of his son’s high school football games and kept that promise even when the games occurred during his filming in Beijing. Smith recalls: “And then the grace of God revealed itself in the form of the international dateline. Beijing to Los Angeles is a twelve-hour flight. A 10:00 pm flight out of Beijing on Friday crossed the date line, landing in Los Angeles at ten Friday morning, just in time to get to the house, get some rest and make it to Trey’s game at six Friday night. A 4:00 pm flight on Saturday going the other way arrives at 4:00 am Monday morning, just in time to get back to work. Jaden and I commuted ten straight weeks, Beijing to Los Angeles and back, never missing a single one of Trey’s games.”

It would have been easy to skip the promotional tours during the filming of a weekly television show or to prioritize making a movie in China over a high school football contest but Smith “committed to a work ethic of uncompromising intensity” that allowed him to achieve unprecedented success. The next time you find yourself making excuses or rationalizing why you can’t do something, think about Will Smith. Where there’s a will, there probably is a way.

Source: Will by Will Smith with Mark Mansion, 2021

leadership dot #3555: parameters

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Many people have a tough time setting boundaries. There are many reasons for this — they want to be nice, they’re afraid to speak up, they hope to avoid a confrontation, they don’t believe they have the right to impose limits, or perhaps they have never considered parameters to be necessary. While it may be easy to avoid setting expectations in the beginning, as time goes on, you pay the price for your lack of clarity.

Artist Kelly Rae Roberts listed a set of boundaries for use of her materials by outlining two categories: What is and what is not okay. Author Brené Brown has followed suit. While both of these lists cover the acceptable use of proprietary materials, the format may be helpful for you to adapt to create a boundaries list of your own. What type of actions fit within your organization’s norms? What do you expect from a partner or relationship? How can others best work with you? What behaviors trigger you? Take some time to consider the answers and then whether you communicate through the actual list or you speak the words at the appropriate moment, having your parameters clarified in advance will help you to share them clearly.

I saw a humorous sign that read: “I would like to cancel my subscription to your issues.” As with all things, the best way to end something is not to start it. Make a concerted effort to articulate your boundaries and prevent issues from happening in the first place.

leadership dot #3554: brush strokes

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I attended an Immersive Van Gogh experience where the works of the 19th-century painter took on a new life. Thanks to innovative technology, paintings were expanded to several stories in height, allowing participants to view them from a totally new perspective. The magnified dimensions allowed us to see the individual strokes and uneven depths of the oil paint — providing a whole new dimension to the works.

The exhibit reinforced that even masterpieces are a series of brush strokes — one after another that combine to create the finished painting. Van Gogh’s genius may have been knowing what to paint or what color to use, but he also had to function as every other painter does by applying the oil one stroke at a time.

We often focus only on the finished work and forget what is behind it. Songs are written after a few notes are paired with one thought, and then another. Buildings are constructed one board or brick at a time. Cultures are created by a series of small comments or decisions.

The next time you need to analyze something, consider it from a micro view and examine the individual components that make up the content. By seeing the brush strokes, you may learn how to create a masterpiece of your own.

leadership dot #3553: debrief

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Throughout my teaching and coaching, I have learned to become much more explicit in sharing the details behind some of the actions I take. I try to provide a seamless experience for the meeting or class, but before we adjourn I take a moment to process what made the session play out as it did.

For example, after the first night of class, we talked about what I wore (knit pants and a blazer) and how it might have shifted the dynamic if I had come in wearing a professional suit and heels — or if I had left on my jeans and a baggy sweater. We also reflected on the difference it made to move the tables and chairs into a horseshoe vs. remaining in typical classroom rows. I take these things for granted, but by consciously talking about them, it helps the students understand how they can replicate the environment in their own situations.

After concluding a meeting on a sensitive topic, I shared steps I took to allow for a respectful and robust discussion to occur — setting ground rules, allowing people to express varied opinions in earlier conversations, honoring silence from some members, and keeping the conversation focused on the topic vs. digressing into more charged tangents. This taught the junior participants how to actively and intentionally facilitate tough discussions rather than leaving them to chance. When I meet with a novice coaching client I talk through such details — and they are grateful for the insight they may not have received any other way.

Consider sharing your “behind the curtain” lessons and teaching others how to intentionally shape an experience. All the feedback I’ve received says that people are hungry to learn it.

R

leadership dot #3552: four thousand

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Here it is, Monday again — with another week flown by. The interval took on a new perspective for me thanks to author Oliver Burkeman. His book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals reframes the average human life span to about 4,000 weeks. That doesn’t seem like very many, especially when I do my own calculations and realize I’ve already lived through over 3,000 of them.

Suddenly, allowing a week to whiz by without any thought doesn’t seem to be a good idea.

What can you do to intentionally live your life? I’m not talking about a lofty bucket list, rather adding forethought to the activities that fill your days: exercise, relationships, reading, being outdoors, volunteering, etc. Strive to make this week a model for the other 3,999+.

leadership dot #3551: kids

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There are times when I think I could do a whole blog just on libraries — as they are some of the most innovative organizations in town. The latest service I discovered is a library that provides computer workstations with cribs. It’s a simple addition but an oh-so-valuable one for parents who may need to access the internet while also caring for their baby.

Has your organization thought about how you can best accommodate those with a little one? Perhaps you could add a crib or bouncy chair to your waiting room. You could offer drive-through services or valet parking for parents with young children. Maybe you have tablets with kid-friendly games preloaded to amuse your youngest clients.

Intentionality and thoughtfulness about the whole guest experience can make things better for everyone.

Photo credit Ali Faruk

leadership dot #3550: marketplace

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My mother used to always say: “Someone’s trash is someone else’s treasure.” Nowhere is that more apparent than on eBay. The online marketplace now has more than 182 million users and 1.7 billion active listings. No wonder it generated $27.5 billion in sales — just in the first quarter of 2021!

While there are some eBay fanatics, most people underutilize the service. If you can buy or sell almost anything (and even have a broker to do it all for you), think of how you could deploy this incredible resource.

  • Seek and then sell vintage items from your donors. There are many treasures in grandma’s attics. People may not have cash, but their possessions may be as valuable.
  • Do a deep dive during your spring cleaning and sell a host of items you no longer need — and earmark the proceeds for a nonprofit contribution.
  • Peruse the site to buy items that may be of value to list in your charity auction.
  • Assemble items from the past to create a history display in your organization.
  • Create a memorable retirement or appreciation gift by purchasing a collectable or unique item that is meaningful to your recipient.
  • Sell your excess equipment or inventory and gain space as well as revenue.

The commerce that is occurring just on this one site is greater than the GDP of some countries. Don’t miss out on your opportunity to benefit from the exchange.

leadership dot #3549: cut bait

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There are many occasions where we hang on to an idea or an ideal without taking any action to achieve it. The resulting dissonance gnaws at us — creating guilt, shame, regret, and a host of other emotions — yet, we still keep alive our intent to act.

Our enrollment consultant always tried to jar us out of this state of angst with his mantra: “Fish or cut bait.” Either commit to doing something or fully let go of the notion that you will. Examples include:

  • Assemble an empowered task force with authority to tackle your thorny problem or acknowledge that you’re going to live with it in peace.
  • Get serious about writing that dissertation or throw your research away.
  • Fund your pet project or stop acting as if it’s in the plans.
  • Pledge to write a certain number of pages each day or stop pretending that you’re going to write a book.
  • Put that business plan in writing or embrace staying in the workforce.
  • Donate those two-sizes-too-small jeans or sign up now for a fitness plan.
  • Make that call to a potential business partner or move forward on your own.
  • Call the marriage counselor or divorce lawyer today.

There reaches a point where it’s time “to put up or shut up.” Usually, that happens sooner than we admit to ourselves. Have some tough love today and free yourself from a mythical obligation. The mental gymnastics you play only sap you of time and energy.

leadership dot #3548: discomfort

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People don’t like to be uncomfortable so we often do whatever it takes to avoid that discomfort — even when it would be in our best interest to squirm for a bit.

Atomic Habits author James Clear wrote about this in his newsletter: “Are you willing to be uncomfortable for 5 minutes? Exercising is easier once you’ve started the workout. Conversation is easier when you’re already talking. Writing is easier once you’re in the middle of it. But many rewards in life will elude you if you’re not willing to be a little uncomfortable at first.”

Author Brené Brown advocates discomfort as well — but only for eight seconds. That’s the length of time that she believes the “intense, in-the-moment discomfort lasts” when having courageous conversations or confronting something difficult. “Oh my God! It’s like riding a bull! You have to make it eight seconds!” she writes in Dare to Lead.

The uncomfortable silence is also a trick of fundraisers — after making the request for a contribution the adage is that the next one who speaks loses. You have to be willing to sit in the quiet and remain still after making the ask and allow the donor to direct the conversation. Easier said than done!

Eight seconds or five minutes can seem like a loooong time but is a necessary transition to benefits on the other side of the silence. Mentally prepare yourself to hold that discomfort rather than avoid it. Your bull ride awaits.

leadership dot #3547: narrowing

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Author Malcolm Gladwell lamented that he receives lots of ideas but most often they are just topics and not stories. “You need a story to take it somewhere,” Gladwell said. I know I face the same challenge with this blog: I have notebooks of topics but turning them into a dot is something else.

But it’s not just with writing that what seems plentiful on one hand also seems like “nothing.” My just-graduated nephew lamented that he has ingredients but doesn’t know what “goes together” so he has no meals. We often look into a full closet and only see clothes, not outfits. We have hundreds of channels on television but have a hard time turning them into the evening’s entertainment.

Practice taking that extra step to transform variety into a theme, whether that be into a meal, an outfit, or a blog. In this age of excessive information, massaging abundance into something focused and meaningful may be the most creative skill of all.