Throughout my teaching and coaching, I have learned to become much more explicit in sharing the details behind some of the actions I take. I try to provide a seamless experience for the meeting or class, but before we adjourn I take a moment to process what made the session play out as it did.
For example, after the first night of class, we talked about what I wore (knit pants and a blazer) and how it might have shifted the dynamic if I had come in wearing a professional suit and heels — or if I had left on my jeans and a baggy sweater. We also reflected on the difference it made to move the tables and chairs into a horseshoe vs. remaining in typical classroom rows. I take these things for granted, but by consciously talking about them, it helps the students understand how they can replicate the environment in their own situations.
After concluding a meeting on a sensitive topic, I shared steps I took to allow for a respectful and robust discussion to occur — setting ground rules, allowing people to express varied opinions in earlier conversations, honoring silence from some members, and keeping the conversation focused on the topic vs. digressing into more charged tangents. This taught the junior participants how to actively and intentionally facilitate tough discussions rather than leaving them to chance. When I meet with a novice coaching client I talk through such details — and they are grateful for the insight they may not have received any other way.
Consider sharing your “behind the curtain” lessons and teaching others how to intentionally shape an experience. All the feedback I’ve received says that people are hungry to learn it.
