leadership dot #4618: motherly

On Mother’s Day, we often think of purchasing a card for our Mom, but Hallmark understands that many people have more than one person they recognize on this day. Now, they are selling Mother’s Day cards in multipacks, providing a more economical way to send cards to your mother, mother-in-law, sisters who are mothers, godmother, grandmothers, people like a mother to you, pet moms, and any other “mom” in your circle.

The dictionary defines mother as “a woman providing care or exercising influence or authority like that of a female parent,” or “the qualities characteristic of a mother, such as maternal affection, protectiveness, responsibility, etc.”

Hopefully, more than your birth parent has mothered you throughout the years. So, while your opportunity to send cards from a multi-pack has passed, don’t let the day go by without sharing your appreciation with all the women who have given you motherly love.

Thanks, Meg!

leadership dot #4617: custody

For many people, pets are like their children, but in the eyes of most laws, pets are just another piece of property. Massachusetts is attempting to change that by passing a law that treats pet custody separately from asset allocation in the case of a divorce or separation of non-married partners.

The new law would allow judges to evaluate whether to award custody to the person who did not pay for the animal (i.e. “own the property”). The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 71% of pet owners entering domestic violence shelters report that their abuser had threatened, injured, or killed family pets. If passed, the law would take previous abuse into account when determining future ownership, and could award custody that is in the animal’s best interest, regardless of who initially paid for the pet.

Anyone who owns a pet knows that they are far different from other types of “property” and carry deep sentimental and emotional bonds. In four out of ten divorce proceedings involving dog owners, neither party wanted to give up their pet, making custody laws and individual circumstances important for both the dog and its multiple owners.

If you have a situation that causes headaches or seems to result in an unsatisfactory solution, maybe it’s time you follow Massachusetts’ example and codify a policy that leads to the outcome you prefer.

Thanks, Meg!

leadership dot #4616: converse

When I told my students that we would start each of our communication classes with small talk, I heard the expected groan. It seems that very few people enjoy the light banter, even though it is an essential social skill.

Part of their dislike is that they conflate many dimensions into one, rather than considering them separately:

  • Energizing vs. draining
  • Ease with facilitating a conversation vs. it taking effort
  • Comfortable in social settings vs. uncomfortable

Yes, you may go home exhausted after being at a reception, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good at small talk. You may be uncomfortable conversing with strangers, but still be able to ask questions and fluently nurture a discussion. Just because it requires forethought or some awkward moments shouldn’t cause you to avoid small talk altogether.

The only way to become more at ease with any skill is practice. I encourage my students to use their small talk skills in micro-moments to become more comfortable. Have the proverbial “water cooler” chat with a colleague. Speak to the person next to you in the checkout line. Comment to the delivery driver about the weather.

There’s nothing small about the impact a good conversationalist can make.

leadership dot #4615: milestones

On May 8, 1945, Germany unconditionally surrendered in World War II. Today, we mark the 80th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day and acknowledge the great sacrifices made by so many.

VE Day caused celebrations throughout the U.S. and Europe as the Nazi regime acknowledged defeat and ceased fighting on European lands. Thousands filled the streets to cheer.

While there was much cause for celebration, U.S. President Harry Truman noted that it was a “victory only half won,” as fighting was still rampant in Japan. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill noted: “We may allow ourselves a brief piece of rejoicing as Japan remains unsubdued.”

Both of these leaders understood the magnitude of the German surrender and allowed for celebrations of that achievement. They did not wait until the war was entirely over before giving people a reason for joy. Instead, they acknowledged a milestone that gave people hope and optimism during a long period of darkness.

Take a lesson from the Allies and celebrate interim steps as well as the final victory or completion of your project. There were many leadership lessons to be learned from WWII, and celebrating the achievement of key benchmarks is just one of them.

leadership dot #4614: questioning

I’ve talked with several people lately who are struggling because they see changes that should be made in their organization, but they aren’t in a position to make those changes. For example, inefficiencies in another department impact their ability to do the work. Lack of vision keeps people trapped in the status quo. Inconsistent accountability puts the burden on the responsible workers. Poor communication practices in one area trickle over with negative consequences for others.

Some employees are hard-wired to address the issues they notice, but these are the same ones who are getting burned out when speaking up because it often results in their being assigned as the problem-fixers (in addition to their regular duties, of course). “I try to stay in my lane, but there are so many off-ramps,” said one.

Others speak up and bear the brunt of colleagues’ wrath who don’t like the changes. “I’m willing to take the heat, but if nothing changes, what is the point?” said another.

It’s often easier for employees to keep their heads down and just plod along as they have been doing, and it’s often easier to supervise them because they don’t cause discomfort. It’s hard to be the one who raises questions or objections, and it often challenges the supervisor to act differently.

If you are the supervisor, sharpen your radar to see how the dissenters are treated in your organization. You want people who make suggestions and push for improvement. You want employees who can see the big picture and how the pieces fit together. You need people willing to speak up and propose changes. Yet those are precisely the ones who will burn out or leave if nothing comes of any of their ideas.

Remember the quote: “The biggest concern for any organization should be when their most passionate people become silent.” Embrace the questioning.

leadership dot #4613: charges

I wanted to send a sympathy card to a former neighbor but couldn’t remember the house number. Where do you find that information today? It used to be that everyone’s address and phone number came in a book, delivered for free right to your door. Now, what was formerly accessible has been hidden behind a paywall.

I think about other things that have switched from free to a charge (television, bags in stores, use of credit cards, water, seats on an airplane, baggage) and things that were costly but are now priced for free or where you don’t worry about pay-by-the-increment (long-distance and out-of-area phone calls, computer/internet time, video editing/publishing, many software programs, and even some online classes).

Consider things you charge for and things you offer without a direct cost. Might you be better off if you switched some of that formula?

leadership dot #4612: bad taste

It’s easy to pay attention to the front-of-the-house functions when you’re running an organization, but the back-of-the-house functions often are what make the front-facing work possible. This was evident at Chipotle this weekend when there were workers taking orders from customers — but left without food to serve them. Once again, the restaurant was out of guacamole even though the revenue from their lucrative add-on could have paid the wages of the employee to make it.

All the attention was on the food line, but it appeared that no one was assigned to address the other aspects of running the business. Trash cans inside and out were overflowing. Tables were dirty. The cash register had no one tending to it unless someone was pulled off the line.

Whether you work in an office or restaurant, don’t overlook the infrastructure needed to support the main product. The food can be great, but if the whole experience isn’t, customers leave with a bad taste in their mouth.

leadership dot #4611: alerting

As I wrote on Friday (dot #4609), ’tis the season for many organizations to have extended planning retreats or other off-site functions. Most groups put considerable effort into the content for those days, but managing expectations for a closed office is often overlooked.

One company, User Interviews, proactively addressed its absence with an email the week before, alerting customers of its event and providing helpful links in case there was a delay in reaching customer service. It did not entirely close its office, but let people know that response times may be slower. This helped to align expectations and (hopefully) trigger customers to reach out in advance or after the event.

If you conduct an extended meeting, don’t leave one person behind to staff the office. Practively plan and allow everyone to attend without returning to a host of customer complaints.

Thanks, Meg!

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leadership dot #4610: ripe

There is a Hallmark Shoebox greeting card and many memes that make fun of the limited window for avocado ripeness. Avocados seem to be hard, hard, hard, and mushy, with only a narrow moment of perfection.

To address this problem, a company in Dubai invented a machine that indicates avocado ripeness. You can test your fruit before you buy it, allowing you to gauge whether your avocado will be ready or over-ripe when you intend to use it. I wish we had them here!

The avocado checker shows that it’s worthwhile to solve a small but annoying problem. See if technology or AI isn’t ripe to do the same for your repetitive irritants.

leadership dot #4609: time together

As the calendar turns to May, it’s a time when people start to look ahead to summer. The warmer months have a different vibe — schools are out, vacations are in, and for many organizations, it provides an opportunity for more in-depth reflection and time to plan as a team.

I’m reminded of a quote one of my sister’s clients shared with her: “You can’t legacy joy.” You can tell those new hires about the cool stuff you did last year, but they can’t know it without having been there. It’s possible to fill people in about the retreat you had, but it’s not the same as participating in person. Others can share the story about the fun things you did together, but you won’t feel it unless you were present.

It’s especially important to recreate traditions for those who have recently joined your teams, and it’s also valuable to create new experiences for the whole group. Plan now to take advantage of a slower cadence and spend some quality time together this summer. Your efforts will pay off in the seasons that follow.

Thanks, Amy & Kate