Month: August 2020

I had to write something down in a hurry and the only writing instrument available was a Sharpie, so as I have done with pens on countless occasions, I grabbed it and scribbled down the information on my hand.

When I came home and tried to wash it off, I had no luck. So, what did I do next? Googled it, of course. I tried all of its suggestions – nail polish remover, milk (?!), cleansing cream, and soap. I substituted hand sanitizer for rubbing alcohol (since none is to be found in a pandemic), and also tried Goo-Gone, hand lotion, baby oil and Dawn. As you can see from the photo, it’s still there days later.

Normally, Google and YouTube serve as the go-to resource; we tap a few keys and expect an elegant solution to be explained in understandable terms within seconds, so it struck me as unusual that Google failed me this time. When I was thinking about what people did before these tools, I realized that they would ask others. You could call your parents, ask a neighbor or co-worker, or try to figure it out yourself.

Google and YouTube are wonderful resources and have helped countless DIY-ers. And, there is something wonderful about helping each other. People deepen bonds and connections when they are able to be of service. Most people like dispensing wisdom and feeling like they were able to assist a friend in need.

 

The next time you have a simple dilemma, perhaps turn to a buddy instead of to Google and give them the satisfaction of helping you out. They may even have a solution that turns out to work!

I’m sure that Michael Jordan never used a Magic Feather as Dumbo did, but he was a master of crafting scenarios that kept him motivated to play at the highest level. In The Last Dance, there were many examples of when Jordan would take one comment and consider it a personal affront – enough to inspire him to score 40 or 50 points in response. Or, he would see another player anointed as MVP or hear that the Bulls’ front office was scouting someone he considered subpar – then set out to prove himself as the superior player. The internal challenge provided his fuel.

These mind games, as with the feathers, are stories that we tell ourselves to elicit performance beyond the usual. Higher caliber actions often begin with the mental aspect rather than the task itself. Just as we are our own worst enemy, we can become our greatest champion with the right perspective.

Think about the stories you tell yourself about your dreams or your limitations. Do you take the external trash talk to heart and doubt your abilities or do you reframe it into motivation to prove otherwise?

When we believe, we are often able to achieve.

I recently asked a colleague for advice on how to do something. His reply: “Maybe you should be saying ‘no’ not ‘how?’”

I had previously not considered turning down the request, but once he said that I knew it was the exact right answer. I was struggling with the ‘how’ to do it because it really was too much to do given the circumstances and I was far better declining outright.

Many times, people find themselves in an untenable situation because they take on more than they should or than is reasonable to do. Nonprofits often keep adding programs or services – figuring out how to get it all done – without setting boundaries regarding how far resources can be stretched. People bend over backward to pull off miracles or routinely carry workloads that are double from when they started in an effort to be a good team player. When I worked in higher ed, I watch the student activities office morph to include community service, leadership development, multicultural programming, parent/family programming and orientation, and many offices today also oversee an entire e-sports program, LBGTQ services and much more as dedicated staff figure out a way to get it all done.

People keep saying “how?” instead of no, often because they feel that they don’t have a choice. If you have the capacity to figure out ways to keep doing more, more, more I’d suggest that you add an additional “more” to your list: conducting an assessment of what is truly valuable. Are people really utilizing both the new and older services? What does the organization gain from stretching its people and finances to the limit? If you started all over, is this the end product you would plan for?

Would I have benefitted from the request I declined? Yes. Did I gain more in mental health and the capacity to do something with an even greater impact? Yes to that, too. Before you figure out “how”, take a moment to consider “if.”