Month: May 2020

leadership dot #2897: mouse and monster

May 21, 2020May 20, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the more challenging skills for new leaders to learn is how to be appropriately assertive. Many people suppress their own position or do not express their needs in order to avoid conflict, while some are at the other end of the spectrum and become demanding or domineering in their statements. Neither is helpful.

One technique to help people grasp the differences between assertive behavior, non-assertive behavior and aggressive behavior is through the use of a children’s book The Mouse, The Monster and Me. Whether you utilize the actual book or just adapt its lessons, the three distinctions help people consider which mask they are wearing into a given situation:

The Mouse mask – which you hide behind to subordinate your own position, feelings or wishes and demonstrate non-assertive behaviors
The Monster mask – that shows indifference to other people’s feelings or rights and comes across as too direct or self-enhancing
Me (mask-less being true to you) – in which you stand up for your own rights without violating the rights and feelings of others. It honestly, directly and appropriately expressing your needs and opinions.

If you introduce this language in your organization, the metaphor provides a shorthand to call someone out who is veering too far from their authentic center. A colleague or supervisor can simply say: “It sounds like you’re wearing your monster mask today,” and convey the message without further explanation or drama.

There is enough mask-wearing these days with COVID; you don’t need to add another layer. Think about what you are hiding behind in your communication and vow instead to consciously avoid being a monster or mouse.

The Mouse, The Monster and Me by Pat Palmer, 1977.

leadership dot #2896: choice

May 20, 2020May 19, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

At one time or another, we have all suffered from paralysis caused by an overwhelming number of choices. It happens when we have multiple streaming channels with thousands of shows, but we complain there is “nothing good” to watch. We face closets full of clothes, but lament that there is “nothing” to wear. The refrigerator and pantry may be stocked, but we still go to a restaurant because we don’t have anything at home to eat.

Choice often seems like a gift, but in reality, it may rob us from the ability to make decisions. Studies by professor Barry Schwartz showed that if consumers were able to taste test only 6 varieties of jam that 30% purchased a jar, but when faced with 24 choices of jam, only 3% decided to buy. Paint companies that offer fewer color choices sold more paint. Homebuilders that limited the options for buyers saw higher sales. The same principle has been replicated in numerous other studies: less really is more.

In order to ward off the inaction caused by too many choices, you can save time and energy by creating parameters and routines. Select your outfit the night before to avoid staring into your closet at the start of the day. Pre-plan a week’s worth of meals. Schedule tasks on your calendar in regular blocks (on Tuesday you do research, Wednesday is budgets, etc.) Decide in advance who makes the entertainment selection or what genre you will watch each night. Buy multiples of things that you love to limit having to find that “perfect white blouse” again when yours fades out. Offer your spouse a choice of three meal options instead of saying “What do you want for dinner?”

Instead of embracing all the variety, our mind becomes overwhelmed by it. Help maintain your productivity and sanity by setting limits on the number of options you consider in each circumstance. In other words, choose to limit your choices.

Source: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, 2004

leadership dot #2895: first impressions

May 19, 2020May 18, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

We’ve all heard about the importance of first impressions and I think that most of us strive to make good ones with the people we meet. What happens a bit more subconsciously is the first impression that we convey about others to people who have not yet encountered that someone in person. While we may share our opinions as part of casual conversation, these initial impressions often have a lasting imprint that colors future relationships or trust levels, even though the comment was not intended to have such weight.

For example, if a friend tells me that she doesn’t like the new boyfriend of another person, a seed of doubt is planted in my mind before I ever meet him. If a colleague remarks that something didn’t sit right with her in an interview, I have a moment’s hesitation about the person when he is ultimately hired. If someone shares a negative first impression about their boss, I need to erase that impression and overwrite it with the positives from my first encounter rather than starting with a blank slate. And if someone is giddy about their new partner, I go into the meeting with trust that may not be warranted.

What goes on the canvas first often colors the rest of the painting. Use extra caution with your comments about people or situations and allow others to paint their own first impressions instead of shading them with secondhand ones.

leadership dot #2894: new cheese

May 18, 2020May 17, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

These crazy times seemed to warrant a re-read of the classic book “Who Moved My Cheese?” For those unfamiliar with Spencer Johnson’s fable, it’s the story of two mice (Sniff and Scurry) and two Littlepeople (Hem and Haw). The four happily find cheese in one part of the maze – until one day they don’t.

The book centers around the reactions to this development: Sniff and Scurry are quick to venture out into the maze sniffing for new cheese and scurrying to find it. The Littlepeople keep expecting their cheese to return until Haw eventually laughs (haw, haw) at how ridiculous it is not to acknowledge the change so he ventures out, while Hem stays back and hems around about how unfair the change is, refusing to alter his behavior.

Of course, the fable has a multitude of applications for today, when some are embracing the many changes the pandemic created how it will reshape the future – while others are waiting for “normal” to return, refusing to adjust their business model or expectations to accommodate the new reality.

But what resonated most with me was the line: “Imagining yourself enjoying your New Cheese leads you to it.” Haw realized “the more clearly he saw the image of himself enjoying New Cheese, the more real and believable it became.”

It’s a curse that our mind often defaults to bad things where there is a change or unknown circumstance, but we have the power to fill the void with positive visions instead. Picture what could be with the old restrictions loosened. Imagine how you’d like it to be with previous policies or barriers removed. Create a vision board for yourself that makes your goal feel real and compels you to embrace the new instead of fearing it.

Your “new cheese” is out there; stop waiting and go find it!

Source: Who Moved My Cheese? By Spencer Johnson, 1998.

leadership dot #2893: physical

May 17, 2020May 14, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’ve written several dots about how subtle differences in language matter and here’s another one for you to consider.

Comedian James Corden wrote in Time: “I actually think calling it social distancing is a mistake – that term couldn’t be more wrong. We’re physically distancing. Socially, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so connected to my friends and family. I’ve been calling people I haven’t spoken to in years just because they pop into my head and I think, ‘I’m going to check in and see how they’re doing.’”

I’ve had a similar sentiment to Corden’s although my preferred method of checking in is via mail. But I’ve also had Zoom calls, cards from others, calls and treasures in the mail – all in the name of staying connected in these times of stay-at-home.

Reframe your language and your mindset toward physical distancing and take advantage of a Sunday to connect with someone who has been on your mind.

Source: The Show Must Go On by James Corden, Time, April 27-May 4, 2020, p. 87

leadership dot #2892: graduate together

May 16, 2020May 15, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Tonight at 8pm ET, the four major broadcast networks and multiple streaming sites will simultaneously air a live tribute entitled Graduate Together: America Honors the Class of 2020. The thousands of high school seniors who are missing out on their own live celebration would be wise to take lessons from this broadcast forward with them to college and beyond.

How could such a show, that features such dignitaries as President Obama, the Jonas Brothers, LeBron James, Malala Yousafzai, Megan Rapinoe and others, be approved as a “roadblock” where the networks show the same thing at once? How could such a lineup come together within weeks? The answers provide a real-life lesson in the power of collaboration.

Graduate Together is sponsored by the Entertainment Industry Foundation – who just happens to have the four broadcast network executives on its board. Lesson: Choose the right partners and you can move mountains quickly.
There was an online petition naming President Obama as the most desired commencement speaker and requesting that he give the primary address to the class. Lesson: Involving those for whom the event is intended can be a compelling voice for action.
Ultimately, a partner executive who was a former employee of the President facilitated the outreach and connection. Lesson: Utilize your networks and cultivate relationships from your past that may prove beneficial in the future.
The program is sponsored by the LeBron James Family Foundation, XQ Institute and the Entertainment Industry Foundation – combining resources of those who work in the media, with high school students and with celebrities. Lesson: Create a broad coalition outside of your industry to pool a broad range of resources and connections.

I’m not sure that a one-hour show, no matter how special, will soothe any of the hurt or loss that this year’s seniors are experiencing but kudos to all who are trying to commemorate them in the only ways possible right now. Hopefully one of the speeches in this event will resonate with the graduates and the lessons learned from producing the event itself will take on new meaning in the days and years ahead – and will serve as a model for you as well of how to be nimble and make things happen in times of great change.

https://graduatetogether2020.com #GraduateTogether

leadership dot #2891: inevitable

May 15, 2020May 14, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

An article I read about the President said that his behavior was totally consistent with someone who had a background in reality television – his goal was to always keep the red light on. (The red light is an indicator that that camera is the active one being shown on the screen.) If you view volatile behavior through that lens it isn’t randomly erratic; it is calculated to achieve the desired results.

I used to preach a similar message when I worked on campus: there were decisions made to block people out of the conversation, to restrict innovation or to shape a class through scholarships, but like the policies or not, they were doing exactly as they were intended to do.

Systems follow the same logic and produce the results they are designed to produce. The criminal justice system was set up in favor of white men. The child welfare system was created to address physical safety without taking emotional safety into consideration. Schools were set up to instill facts and behaviors to benefit work in the industrial age.

Whether consciously or not, your own behaviors are working toward achieving the mental model that you have designed for yourself. Think carefully about the outcome you desire or all your actions will align to unintentionally, but inevitably, produce something else.

leadership dot #2890: hill climbing

May 14, 2020May 13, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I’m reading The Everything Store, an analysis of Amazon’s first twenty years, and once again it’s a company and founder that looks like they were a guaranteed success when the reality was anything but. Amazon may be a monolith today, but it had its share of failures along the way and tangents that cost the company millions.

But the part they did get right, besides Jeff Bezos’ prescient understanding of how big the internet would become and how e-commerce could function on that platform, was the notion of continual progress. Amazon started with rudimentary software that later was entirely replaced. They changed from warehouses to distribution centers to fulfillment centers as their understanding of the order process evolved. They began with books before adding music and videos then gradually adding other product categories before they became the store for it all. Amazon took gradual steps with its customer interface, first adding One-Click then Supersaver Shipping and currently Prime as their fulfillment processes allowed them to become more sophisticated.

“Slow and steady progress can overcome any challenge,” said Bezos and he has demonstrated that with a flourish over the life of the company (although not always being tolerant of the “slow” part). It’s a good mantra to live by, not just for Amazon, but for any organization and in your personal life. Slow but continuous effort toward running adds up to a marathon. Regular but small deposits can help amass a nest egg. Deliberate but positive choices in food selection can minimize a weight challenge. Daily practice can allow you to learn an instrument or language. Slow but steady progress can overcome all the challenges inherent in turning a side hustle into a legitimate business.

Bezos also advised that you don’t have to climb the mountain all at once, rather you climb a hill, see the next hill and then climb it. Set your sights on being Queen of the Hill before you aim to conquer the whole mountain.

Source: The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon by Brad Stone, 2014

leadership dot #2889: changing demands

May 13, 2020May 12, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Yesterday’s dot covered Gallup’s research finding that “70% of the variance in team engagement is determined solely by the manager.” Yowza! If you’re that critical as a manager, what should you do in your role?

Fortunately, Gallup also outlines six steps to align the culture with the new way of work that appeals to everyone, but especially Millennials and Generation Z. Successful managers should work to create a culture that addresses these changing demands of the workforce:

From My Paycheck to My Purpose
Employees want to work for organizations with a mission and purpose.

From My Satisfaction to My Development
Employees are pursuing a job that provides personal development as the prized perk.

From My Boss to My Coach
Forget the domineering boss; employees today want leaders to help coach and develop them.

From My Annual Review to My Ongoing Conversations
Everything in life is instantaneous, and employees today want their feedback to be as well.

From My Weakness to My Strengths
Of course, Gallup, the creator of the Strengths movement would recommend this, but whether you pursue the official Strengths assessment or just focus more on positive development, employees today want to build on their strengths vs. focusing on weaknesses.

From My Job to My Life
A great job is the #1 dream, but to achieve that it means having both a paycheck and fulfilling work. Having a great job has become an essential element of having a great life.

Pause for a moment and consider where you stand on these six spectrums. Really, they boil down to two key elements: purpose (#1 & 6) and personal development (#2, 3, 4, 5). Where do you shine as a manager? What area deserves more of your attention? You could make a significant impact on your team by moving toward the new way of managing – and probably enjoy work much more.

Source: It’s the Manager by Jim Clifton and Jim Harter, Gallup Press, 2019

leadership dot #2888: manager

May 12, 2020May 11, 2020by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

One of the world’s leading research firms conducted a massive study about the future of work, including tens of millions of in-depth interviews of employees and managers across 160 countries. And what did they learn: “Of all the codes Gallup has been asked to crack dating back 80 years to our founder, George Gallup, the single most profound, distinct and clarifying finding – ever – is probably this one: 70% of the variance in team engagement is determined solely by the manager.”

It’s a fact that I’ve believed for a long time and experienced as both an employee and as a supervisor – the manager makes all the difference. “Clever benefit packages, new scoring systems, free lunches and on-site volleyball courts are great. But they don’t change growth outcomes. Only improving your ratio of great to lousy managers does,” write Jim Clifton and Jim Harter in their book on Gallup’s research. “Usually, there isn’t a single lever to create change. In this case, there is: It’s the manager.”

Gallup also learned that the great global dream – higher than having a family, children, home and peace – is to have a good job that provides a living-wage paycheck. For it to be seen as a great job, you need the paycheck that a good job provides plus you must be engaged in meaningful and fulfilling work and feel you are “experiencing real individual growth and development in the workplace.” Thus, the primary job of the manager becomes increasing human potential as a method of organizational success.

Hopefully, you’ve been lucky enough to be among the 15% who feel engaged at work at some point in your career. Like those charts that show the spread of COVID-19, the manager’s influence permeates their team and changes the dynamics of the work. But it always comes down to the people – and putting the care of those people first. Taking care of them takes care of the outcomes that follow.

[More on Gallup’s 6 recommended changes tomorrow]

Source: It’s the Manager by Jim Clifton and Jim Harter, Gallup Press, 2019