#558 significant

There are words that make their way into our vocabulary every day.  I wish someone would come up with new language that describes adult dating.  The current lexicon is a remnant of the “old days” when boys and girls dated in high school, then became boyfriend/girlfriend, then fiancé, then spouse.

But what about two way-past-high-school people who are seeing each other?  Boyfriend/girlfriend has a twinge of high schoolishness.  “Friend” doesn’t distinguish between someone you are dating and your buddy.  “Lady friend” seems more like an escort.  “Significant other” never appealed to me either — even if I’m significant, do I want to be the “other”?  It sounds like something out of place.  “The guy I’m seeing” sounds like he just came out of hiding and now you see him.  

We have words that describe trivial details and labels for so much in pop culture, yet there isn’t a good word for something that is a very common occurrence.  

The holidays are coming and introductions to family are awkward enough.  As a hostess, I struggle with how to ask my guests if they are bringing their _______.  We need a word or two to describe two adults in a relationship.  As I have said before, what you call something  is significant (not other!).

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#557 second best

In college admissions, a significant number of prospective students inquire about a school but never bother to complete an application.  The admission counselors are responsible for calling all these inquiries to assess their interest level and either encourage an application or inactivate the file.  


What counselors have come to understand, and students would be better off if they learned, is that the second best answer is “no”.  Sure, counselors would love to have calls that connect with delighted students who are going to finish their application that very evening.  But hearing an honest answer from a student who is no longer interested is the next best thing.  It allows the counselor to cross them off the list, move on and stop spending time and money to cultivate someone who has no interest in attending.  

What happens instead is that a) the student doesn’t answer the phone/email/text and it causes the school to keep trying to reach them or b) the student gives a vague answer and feigns interest, even though there really is none.  Again, it just prolongs the outreach.

The same thing happens in other lines of work.  Prospective clients are afraid to tell a business that they have no interest in their service/product.  People lead on sales agents and waste time instead of ending the conversation when a decision has been mentally made.

Do those on the receiving end a favor, and if your answer is going to be no, give that answer as soon as you know it.  No is far better than a “maybe”.  In fact, “no” is only second to “yes” of what the seller wants to hear.  Really.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#556 a light

Last week, South Africa and the world lost a special kind of leader.  After spending 27 years in prison, Nelson Mandela became the country’s “moral compass” and championed efforts to end the practice of apartheid.  He served as president for only five years (1994-1999), but leaves a legacy that outlives his time in office.

In a tribute to the impact he had beyond his own nation, the flags in the U.S. were flown at half-staff in his honor.  Four U.S. presidents* are each traveling nearly 16,000 miles round trip to pay their respects to Mr. Mandela.  They will be joined by at least 50 other world leaders at his memorial service tomorrow.

I doubt any of you will be jumping on a plane to head to South Africa, but you can pay tribute to his work by living out the challenge Marianne Williamson laid out at Mandela’s inauguration:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”  Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory that is within us.  As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Have the courage to let your light shine brightly today.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com


* Obama, George W. Bush, Clinton and Carter






#555 @

In one character — the @ symbol — we can see the evolution of so much.


This piece of punctuation was included on the earliest manual typewriters and used well before those machines were developed.  “At” primarily meant “at that price”.  Think of the early shopkeepers with their 3×5 receipt pad — writing “3 bushels @ $1”, “1 apple @ 5 cents” or similar things.  It was one of the first symbols of commerce.

Today, we all know that @ has a very different meaning.  It has become so pervasive that the Museum of Modern Art’s Department of Architecture and Design “acquired” the symbol in 2010.*  You could say “at” and most everyone today would instinctively write the @ sign. It has become the punctuation of the modern economy — connecting us all to each other.

You, too, can give long-standing things a new meaning.  Is there a symbol in your organization that needs to evolve?

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

Source:  A Decade in Design 2004-2013, March 2010, Fast Company, October 2013, p.66

#554 permanent whitewater

There is a lot of stress around campus these days as finals start on Monday.  The tension is high as the semester’s end is right around the corner.  Everyone is also starting to feel the holiday frenzy as the late Thanksgiving caused December to sneak up on us this year.  There are projects, pageants, presents and potlucks — all requiring our time and attention.

It is a natural temptation to say “if I can just get past ______, it will slow down.”  Insert the word of your choice:  finals, Hanukkah, the concert, making cookies, finishing my shopping.
Only it never does slow down.  Some other event is always on the horizon, just waiting to be inserted into the blank.
Peter Vaill* labeled this phenomenon “permanent whitewater”.  We think that once we get through the rapids, that the river will slow down.  We hope for that, but in reality, there is a permanent sequence of events that demand our energies.  He recommends mentally preparing for this pace rather than being surprised or distressed when the next “rapid” appears in our life.  After Christmas there will be activities to start the semester, then taxes, then another round of finals and then, and then.  Everyone has their own list of rapids, but they exist for each of us.
Instead of wishing for time to speed up so you can “get through” the _____, try to acknowledge the events for what they are and savor the moment.  I have been whitewater rafting before and can tell you firsthand that the rapids are the best parts of the ride if you throw yourself into them.
— beth triplett

Learning as a Way of Being:  Strategies for Survival in a World of Permanent White Water by Peter Vaill, 1996

#553 jolly feast

I was getting a pedicure last weekend and struck up a conversation with the woman next to me.  Somehow we got on the subject of St. Nicholas Day and she said that she is thirty and can’t believe that her mother still gives her a St. Nicholas Day treat.  I can believe it — I am much older than that and my family still celebrates the holiday.

For those of you not familiar with the tradition, allegedly school children left their shoes out for St. Nicholas on his feast day (today).  During the night, St. Nicholas would come by and leave nuts and fruit and maybe a small gift inside the shoes…providing that you were good, of course!  

We celebrated this every year growing up.  Our shoes always received a mixture of nuts-in-the-shell and a tangerine.  I still can’t see either in the store without thinking of December 6.

My dad’s name was Nick and we belonged to St. Nicholas parish, so maybe there was a special affinity to this particular holiday.  Whether you choose to celebrate this feast, participate in the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon or pick a non-December occasion to commemorate, I hope that you value these small traditions.

In your home life and in your organization, small rituals create continuity and connectedness that strengthen the bonds between people.  Don’t overlook them as part of the overall experience you intentionally create.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#552 navy or taupe

Since our budget is in good shape this year, a mid-year renovation project was just approved.  It involves a substantial amount of carpet in a prominent area so the choice of pattern was an important decision to be made.  But who decides what carpet is laid in a public thoroughfare in a building?

The flooring company representative had one opinion based upon the popularity of one color trend; the facilities person had another point of view based upon maintenance, the marketing folks had yet another perspective as it related to extension of campus identity and branding, and the user in closest proximity to the project added yet another view.  

In this case, we gathered two vice presidents and five directors to make a recommendation to our president.  Fortunately it was very amicable and the choice was finalized in under 15 minutes, but the human costs still add up.  I am a huge advocate of having all these voices heard, yet we agreed that such a process could be streamlined for future projects.

So we are going to take the time to create a context under which future decisions can be made by those most impacted.  Instead of having unspoken parameters and a history of independent decisions, we are going to develop a sample board that outlines the color palette that can be used for paints, materials and carpeting.   With such guidelines, we won’t need our designer at every meeting where decor is decided, senior administration can stay out of it and we can give those closest to the project more latitude and input.

Is there something in your organization that could use a boost of up front clarification to keep you out of the details later?  Sometimes investing time in the beginning saves much more time in the long run. 

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#551 part 3

A few final thoughts on the notebook system:

> I take a lot of notes, but only use about two notebooks/year with the Iquelrius books.  It is a sad day when the front and back meet each other as then it is time to start a new notebook.  I always go back through the current one and transfer to the new one items for staff/committees that are still pending and that I don’t want to lose.  (My staff hates it when it’s “new notebook time” as things that have been dormant are suddenly back on the discussion list!)  I also review the front section to see if there are any “to do” boxes still unchecked that need to be brought forward.  And then I carry around both notebooks for a week or so rather than recopying the notes I need from the “old” book to discuss at current meetings.

> I use the first page of the notebook to write down things I need to remember — so I have them in one place for handy reference.  Names of new employees in other departments.  Budget numbers.  Copier code for the special copier.  This saves me time from hunting for the information…and, like everything else, I always have it with me in the office.

> It is common knowledge amongst my staff that “the notebook never lies.”  It becomes a reference and decision arbitrator when there is confusion about “what did we decide” or “who was going to follow up with that”.  Usually a quick glance in the notebook will resolve any of those kinds of questions!

> Having notes for several months in one place helps greatly with perspective.  I can look at budget projections and see if our trend line has been increasing or decreasing.  I can tell when items have remained on the agenda and been undone for months.  I am reminded that employees with issues also have good things that we have been discussing.  

As I said in Part 1, this is how I use the system and it works very well for me.  I know others who have modified it to put tabs for different sections/agendas instead of using it back to front.  Others pay attention to the colored border on the pages of the Iquelrius.  

However you make the system yours, I hope you try some version of it.  Collaboration and communication are so important to every organization and I know of no better way to keep track of the information that fosters both.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com



#550 part 2

In addition to using your notebook as described yesterday, create a second function by starting in the BACK of your notebook working forward.  In this section, I dedicate one page for each employee I supervise and committee I am on.  I use these pages to keep a running agenda of things I need to discuss with the person/group during the next time I meet.


Where the synergy develops is when I am in one meeting and something is said that I need to tell one of my employees (or my boss).  I can instantly turn to that page in the back (of the same notebook I am using to take meeting notes) and write that I need to discuss the item with that person.  No forgetting, no time spent developing meeting agendas — it just naturally evolves.

This back section also works beautifully when it comes time to do employee evaluations.  I have a whole record of things we discussed over the whole year, not just what I remember from recent meetings.  After I do an evaluation, I just draw a line across the page and I know where to start for the next review period.  When my employees use this system too (as many do!), they too have a record of what accomplishments and issues evolved during the year.  

I put a piece of light cardboard at the start of the back section and keep an index of the pages (which I number by hand).  When someone’s page fills up, I simply continue their list on the next free page in the back section and renumber their page on my index.  (See picture).

So I keep working notes front to back and write agenda/discussion items back to front — but with everything work-related in one single notebook.  You too can reap the benefits of organizational simplicity with this system!

Final thoughts on this process tomorrow.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

I start in alphabetical order, but you can see it doesn’t always stay that way!




#549 organization magic

Around this time of year, or on January 1 when people make resolutions, many say “I need to get more organized.”  One way to do it is to utilize a notebook system.  One of my mentors taught me this when I was first elected to chair a national organization, and I have been using it for the 20 years since.

The notebook system is really two notebooks and a to-do list in one.  You can use any notebook, but for some reason the Iqueirius* spiral notebooks seem to be the perfect size.  (I know several people who have switched to these and they seem to be the winner even over electronic systems.)

People can use it any way that suits them, but this is my preferred method:  Start in the front and keep notes from all your meetings.  It comes in so handy to have all your notes in one place.  People who take notes and then file them with the appropriate project or committee folders invariably need those notes at another meeting or during a conversation with someone else.  Keep it all together and I’ll bet you will be surprised how often you refer back to things.  Don’t devote one whole page to a meeting — when your notes end from one topic, just draw a line and move on to the next meeting.  

If you have a task or something that requires follow up action from you, make a check box next to it in your notes.  You’ll instantly know that you need to do something and it won’t get lost when filed away in a folder, etc.  Thus your notes become a running to-do list — and since you will get in the habit of carrying your notebook with you, you’ll have many opportunities to see the unchecked boxes as a trigger to get things done.

More tomorrow on Part 2 that really makes the magic of synergy occur.

— beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com


Notebooks:  www.miqueirius.com  Made in Spain Item #42237  4-subject notebook 6×8 Assrt Clr Ruled  UPC:  8-422593-422373   Available at most Barnes & Noble stores and at some larger Target stores

Sample page from one of my notebooks: