Month: November 2019

leadership dot #2714: uncomfortable

November 20, 2019November 18, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

In addition to sharing their personal story at the All-Community Reads, Jennifer Thompson and Ronald Cotton advocated for reforms of the criminal justice system. “Exonerations are not the criminal justice system getting it right,” said Jennifer. “It’s a miracle and we shouldn’t rely on a miracle to get it right.”

She continued about how the criminal justice system was created and designed to protect white, land-owning males and how it makes us uncomfortable that we have never done anything different to a system that was designed to be racist.

“We have to get uncomfortable first to acknowledge it before we can change it,” she said. “ I appreciate the fact that you’re struggling with it and want to have the hard conversation.”

It reminded me of the work being done in the child welfare arena where people are also having the uncomfortable conversations about the role of race, the impact of trauma caused by the current system and the need to change an entire system that has been embedded in our culture for decades.

We often avoid uncomfortable conversations because, well, they make us uncomfortable. It’s easier to ignore the topic, only scratch the surface or make light of the root causes. But to truly create the change we need to address that which is hardest to discuss.

Aim not for comfort, but instead seek to create an environment where people can be what Alia describes as “safe but uncomfortable”. Make your culture civil, respectful and open – so that discomfort can be put on the table and deliberated, not so it can be hidden away.

leadership dot #2713: forgiveness

November 19, 2019November 17, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

The All-community Reads program that I referenced yesterday centered around restorative justice utilizing the book Picking Cotton. The book shares the journey of Jennifer Thompson, at the time a college student who was raped, and Ronald Cotton who spent 11 years in prison for the crime after being identified by Jennifer in a line-up…

…and their unlikely friendship after DNA exonerated Ronald.

I cannot even imagine.

Their book and their public presentation were described as “simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting” as they recounted the process that led to the wrongful conviction and their subsequent forgiveness of all who were impacted.

When Ronald first met Jennifer and immediately told her “I forgive you”, she realized that he was free, “truly free” and she had to forgive herself for the error, her family for not supporting her, the system for its inherent biases and to forgive her actual rapist. “The burden was too heavy to hold,” she said. “I didn’t want to carry that.”

If Ronald and Jennifer can forgive after the tragedy that they both experienced, perhaps you can find it in your heart to let go of a burden that you are bearing. Give yourself a gift and let go of the anger and hurt that you hold against someone. May you find peace this season.

leadership dot #2712: audience

November 18, 2019November 17, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

I recently participated in two large-scale reading programs: one with a shared read across the state and another community-wide event. Both culminated in a live appearance by the author(s) so it was an interesting comparison as to how they approached their talk.

The first author gave what was presumably the same speech that he gives everywhere: sharing an overview of the book, telling the most interesting stories and hitting all the highlights. His lecture was accompanied by a gorgeous PowerPoint which was the only redeeming factor because everything he spoke of was in the book – and the vast majority of the audience was there because they had just read it.

The second set of authors correctly realized that the attendees would likely be very familiar with the book’s contents so instead of repeating it, they chose to sit around a table and informally give a short update about what has happened since they wrote it. After that, they spent the full 90 minutes answering questions and providing new insights and depth to the material, an approach that added to its understanding and entertainment value.

If you are asked to speak in front of a group, whether that be at a meeting, full-scale presentation or even sharing stories in your living room, pause to consider your audience before you utter a word. People will tune out if you’re not tuned in to what might be relevant to them.

leadership dot #2711: sticker

November 17, 2019November 16, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

There are many electronic methods that allow you to spread the word about an event, but the University of Wisconsin-Platteville took a decidedly low-tech route to advertise an upcoming concert at the school. UWP promoted its concert by trumpeter Wayne Bergeron by placing stickers on the boxes at the area bakery. It was simple, low cost, novel, and the colorful sticker stood out on the otherwise plain box. I don’t know how many tickets it sold, but it certainly created awareness and, unlike the barrage of ads elsewhere, was hard to miss.

How can you think outside the box (in this case, literally!) to spread your message? There may be a nontraditional partnership just waiting for you to use as a vehicle to get the word out.

Thanks, Amy!

leadership dot #2710: indicators

November 16, 2019November 15, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Today’s smartphones provide a wealth of data to the owner: heart rate, number of steps, sleeping habits, screen time, etc. They are sophisticated monitoring machines yet fail to alert the owner when something as simple as voicemail has reached capacity. This week alone I learned from another that my voicemail box was full and experienced the same frustration when I was unable to leave a message on my sister’s phone. Why can’t the phone tell us that?

The same principle applies to cars – vehicles monitor gas mileage, tire pressure, average speed and a host of other measurements but don’t tell the driver when a headlight or taillight is burned out. There should be a notification system for something that you can’t see on your own yet is important for visibility and safety. Instead of the annoying “advances” in lane mitigation systems, I wish they would have added a “bulb-replacement-needed” indicator instead.

In the race to add more bells and whistles sometimes the fundamentals are overlooked. Don’t make the same mistake in your organization. Before you monitor something, make sure it’s what matters to the user.

leadership dot #2709: pink elephants

November 15, 2019November 14, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

In the book SuperBetter, author Jane McGonigal advocates the use of game theories to reduce depression and increase resilience. There is substantial scientific evidence that it works – in part by redirecting your attention and strengthening willpower.

In the book, McGonigal outlines numerous “quests” – tools to build emotional, social and mental resilience – and these challenges help develop the power to take control of your thoughts, and then in turn, your feelings and reactions. She makes a persuasive case that games, and the brainpower we use when we play them, really can make us mentally stronger.

An example of one quest: First, do not think of a pink elephant for the next 10 seconds. Did it work? Of course not. Just the mention of a pink elephant made you think of one. But the real quest – the one that does redirect your brain from seeing the rosy pachyderm – is to use the letters P(ink) and E(lephant) to think of as many words as you can that contain both P and E (in any order). Examples: empty, pie, except, plane.

Most people will come up with a list of between 10-20 words – and, more importantly, completely forget about the elephant. You can apply this technique (using any two letters) to redirect your thoughts away from something that is painful or upsetting, allowing you to take control of your emotions and re-center.

SuperBetter is a fascinating read with applications for trauma, illness, pain management and stress reduction. Use the pink elephant as a starting point on your gaming journey.

Source: SuperBetter by Jane McGonigal, 2015

leadership dot #2708: ask for advice

November 14, 2019November 13, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

Research reported in the Harvard Business Review shows that asking for advice instead of feedback is more effective in eliciting actionable input and specific comments that may actually help to improve performance. It appears that “feedback” often is vague and focused on past performance whereas “advice” triggers forward-thinking that can help you in the future.

I totally agree! For example, the official university course evaluation asks questions about my performance as an instructor in the course that just concluded such as “The instructor demonstrated respect for students – strongly agree, agree, etc.” It requires a bit of guessing and inference as to how to apply the evaluation scores to my next course. Contrast that with the feedback form I personally administer that asks things like: “If you teach this course again, do/don’t _____ (something specific)”. I find the advice I receive to be much more direct and relevant to how I can alter my teaching.

The same principle applies to most settings where we are soliciting input. In your employee appraisals, are you providing just feedback or is there an ongoing opportunity to ask for/provide advice that can drive changes in behavior? In focus groups or on service evaluation forms, are you asking for vague feedback or could you re-word the questions to ask for advice as to what you could do differently or what you should continue to do? In relationships, can you ask for advice on how to be a more loving or helpful partner?

If you’re serious about utilizing the input you receive, my advice would be to reframe how you ask for it. Focus on obtaining specificity and advice that you can apply in the future rather than commentary about the past.

Source: Why Asking for Advice is More Effective Than Asking for Feedback by Jaewon Yoon, Hayley Blunded, Ariella Kristal, and Ashley Whillans, in Harvard Business Review, September 20, 2019

leadership dot #2707: a beautiful day

November 13, 2019November 12, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

If you are wondering why many people seem to be wearing cardigans today it is to commemorate Mister Rogers on World Kindness Day. The holiday itself is a way to bring random acts of kindness to the forefront, and the Mister Rogers frenzy is heightened in anticipation of the movie about him to be released later this month. So, World Kindness Day paired with #CardiganDay equals a social media trend.

Personally, I was not a fan of Mister Rogers’ show. While he wished for me to have a “beautiful day in the neighborhood”, the cadence at which he delivered his messages of self-acceptance and empowerment was like nails on a chalkboard to me. I did much better when I read his words in print!

One of the passages (in print!) that resonated with me: I like to swim, but there are some days I just don’t feel much like doing it – but I do it anyway! I know it’s good for me and I promised myself I’d do it every day, and I like to keep my promises. That’s one of my disciplines.”

There are books of Mister Rogers quotes – inspiring sayings that spread kindness and reinforced the good he saw in all people. Today may be the day where your cardigan and random acts can be highlighted on social media, but every day can be more beautiful if you follow some of Mister Rogers’ wisdom.

leadership dot #2706: start local

November 12, 2019November 8, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

It’s interesting to me to watch the growing momentum to legalize marijuana. Right now, 33 states allow some use of the drug and 11 states fully allow it for recreational use. It has become part of some presidential candidate platforms and my guess is that it will be federally approved within a few years.

Think about the social initiatives that have started at the state or local level: same-sex marriage, 65mph speed limits, casinos, sports betting, abortion laws, civil rights – many of these issues were approved state by state by state until the federal government stepped in and codified the issue.

Change works the same way in organizations. One unit, department or division first implements a change and then others adopt the practice before it becomes company-wide. Cities create policies that eventually are modeled by the county or state. Siblings develop habits that other siblings emulate before the whole family incorporates them.

It’s incredibly hard to implement big change on a big scale. It’s far more effective to start local and build momentum with pockets of small changes coming together to make a significant shift.

leadership dot #2705: mess with it

November 11, 2019November 8, 2019by leadership dots by dr. beth triplettLeave a comment

A Lifehacker Facebook post read: “Hi bosses. If you’re gonna mess with sh*t, you should be able to explain why things are the way they are before you change things.” It’s advice that applies far beyond bosses and is especially a temptation for new employees.

People want to make progress and everyone wants to put their own stamp on things. Change is omnipresent, but it doesn’t make change-for-change’s-sake a good thing. It’s a good rule of thumb to be able to understand why things are the way they are now before you jump in and head a different direction. There may be valid reasons why the status quo came to be and vested interests in keeping it that way.

Organizations and people are only able to absorb so much change at one time. You may decide to save your change capacity for something else if you learned more about “what is” and why, or you may uncover points that give merit to your argument about why change is necessary.

Either way, if you’re gonna mess with it, first come to appreciate what led to it being how it is now. The time it takes to understand the context is almost always time well spent.