We’ve all been there — something happens to us that gets us riled up, and our instinctual reaction is to vent to someone about it. It may make us feel better or provide positive reinforcement in a negative situation, but rarely does any good come from it. It drains time and energy and sucks others into the drama.
Being able to regulate emotions is one of the key factors in Emotional Intelligence, something that must be learned the more senior you are in the hierarchy. No one benefits when the leader rants or inappropriately shares another’s misstep.
But if you can’t control your emotions entirely, two guidelines that can keep you from making it worse:
- Resist sharing until you can do so without drama. I liken this to throwing a wet towel (dot #313) — you need to wait until the “wet” has dissipated before you share, or the only focus will be on the emotion, not the content.
- If you must involve someone else, be sure to “vent up,” never “vent down.” You may need to unburden yourself, but do so with a supervisor or someone up the hierarchy. Not only does this serve as a litmus test as to whether the sharing is appropriate, but it also keeps you from unfairly involving your staff in your issues.
Be mature enough to modulate your highs and lows and resist the urge to vent immediately. In most cases, this, too, shall pass without you acting out about it.
