“Pale se ajan, silans se lò.” It’s a Haitian saying that means, “Speaking is silver, but silence is gold.” Across the world, people teach “silence is golden,” but I think it is a myth. Sometimes, yes, but in many cases, not speaking up is at best a waste of time, and at its worst, problematic.
I am in a large group meeting and still haven’t heard one of the participants speak. I am sure they were invited to the team for a reason, but I haven’t yet discovered what it was because of their silence. I think of all the things they could be doing that may contribute to the organization, but sitting in this meeting isn’t one of them.
I think of the silence of those who see misdeeds or errors and don’t share them for fear of reprisal. That silence isn’t helpful either, because the wrongs will likely continue if left unchecked. We need people to use their voices and speak for what is right.
Silence in relationships isn’t positive either, because without candid, caring conversations, disagreements or value misalignments can fester and turn ugly. People need to feel safe sharing their concerns and feelings instead of holding them in silently.
People, especially girls, are taught to be “nice” and “not rock the boat,” but often the boat needs rocking. Respectful, honest feedback is what is golden.
