A colleague asked how he could avoid burning out while supervising an employee who never seemed to be satisfied. The boss had tried multiple strategies to placate the employee: switching up assignments, listening to their woes, providing professional development, and recommending counseling — but nothing seemed to provide contentment.
My advice to the supervisor was to stop believing that anything they did would be enough. It reminded me of the classic children’s book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. In Laura Joffe Numeroff’s tale, if you give a mouse a cookie, then he asks for milk, then a straw, then a napkin, and on and on, until ultimately, he needs another cookie. And so it goes with employees who lack intrinsic grounding – no matter what you try, it will not be enough to provide them with the sense of fulfillment that can only come from within.
The “let’s-try-something-more” approach actually makes it worse in the long run as the newness becomes like a sugar fix where all it does is make the employee want more sugar. Instead of becoming less needy, they require more from you in a never-ending quest for support.
As soon as you find yourself supervising an employee who never seems to be satisfied, avoid doling out dribs and drabs of attention. Read the children’s book and remind yourself that while it may seem easier to initially give them a “cookie” and be done with it, instead of ending something you are actually starting a chain of events that will ultimately require far more time and energy from you than setting clear boundaries in the first place.
