I was able to get my hair cut yesterday after missing four appointments as a result of the virus. There are many times between my regular three-week visits that the length or thickness of my hair makes me crazy and I am anxious to see my stylist, but, unbelievably, this wasn’t one of them.

When my hair started to grow out during the early days of shelter-in-place, it made me go nuts. But after a while, I just gave up and by last week, I was wearing it around the house using the band from my journal as an improvised headband. It wasn’t worth the mental energy to fight with it anymore.

The same is true in many other situations. People are bothered by being “a little” wet, but at some point, to fight it is moot. It matters when you are somewhat tired but then you reach a stage where the exhaustion turns to giddiness and you stop suppressing the yawns. You may try to stay clean when working outdoors, then a little mud turns into a lot and you just give up. You may get worked up every single time you do your expense reports, but is it worth it?

The trick is figuring out where that resignation point is and acknowledging it. Save yourself the annoyance and mental energy that it takes to fight with yourself as you try and manage something which is futile to control. To use Elsa’s famous phrase: “let it go!” Surrender and you can be at peace.

I'm the chief connector at leadership dots where I serve as "the string" for individuals and organizations. Like stringing pearls together to make a necklace, "being the string" is an intentional way of thinking and behaving – making linkages between things that otherwise appear random or unconnected – whether that be supervising a staff, completing a dissertation or advancing a project in the workplace. I share daily leadership dots on my blog to provide examples of “the string” in action. I use the string philosophy through coaching, consulting and teaching to help others build capacity in themselves and their organizations. I craft analogies and metaphors that help people comprehend complex topics and understand their role in the system. My favorite work involves helping those new to supervision or newly promoted supervisors build confidence and learn the skills necessary to effectively lead their team.

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