It’s a rare person who likes to be told what they are doing wrong, but most people are more receptive to hearing what they can do to get better. This simple nuance of language can make the difference in whether someone actually hears your feedback in a way that is actionable.
For example, which do you think would be more effective:
- “Your free throw is bad,” or “You’d be a stronger player if your free throw improved.”
- “Your report is choppy,” or “Your report would benefit from stronger transitions.”
- “That outfit doesn’t work on you,” or “A deeper shade would better complement your skin tone.”
- “Your presentation was boring,” or “Next time, consider adding a few stories to your presentation.”
- “Your event was confusing,” or “First-time attendees could have benefited from more information and signs.”
- “Your feedback was poorly delivered,” or “Saying the same thing in a different way could make it more effective.”
Your goal isn’t to just deliver the message; you want it to alter behavior. Keep the end in mind at the beginning of your comments.
